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Song Parodies -> "She's Got Whoopie Cushions"

Original Song Title:

"She's Always a Woman"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Billy Joel

Parody Song Title:

"She's Got Whoopie Cushions"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

If the woman Billy was singing about was less "heinous witch" and more "cheeky prankster"...
She may have a small smile but she still has her wiles
Yeah, she can ink up your face in that telescope style
And she'll drop nanner peels in the spots you can't see
She might seem real nice but she's got whoopie cushions, trust me

Shaking hands with a buzz the first time that she meets you
Not exactly the truth, it's a gag she'll repeat, true
And she'll take ev'ry chance to get you soaked, you see
Yeah, she seems shy and sweet but she's got whoopie cushions, trust me

Oh, if she asks for your help
On how to online shop
I'd suggest you decline
Oh, cause she's gonna send out
Just the weirdest porn shit
To your grandma, ain't right

And she'll unscrew the salt, wreck the sandwich you're eatin'
Then she'll glue down your butt to wherever you're seatin'
But she takes your protests with a burst of pure glee
Cause you're stuck in this hell cause she's got whoopie cushions, trust me

Pfrrr-rrr-rrr-rrr-rrrttt, pfrrr-rrr-rrr-rrr-rrrttt
Pfrrr-rrr-rrr-rrr-rrr-rrr-rrr-rrr-rrr-rrr-rrr-rrr-rrr-rrrttt

Oh, she is able to tell
That this ain't what you want
But I think that you'll find
Oh, that she tunes it all out
Cause she knows her sweet grin
Will just melt your poor mind

Pranking streak a mile wide, but she'll never be cruel
No, she's not nasty or evil, she just loves a fool
Cause she's mildly addicted to being a tease
And the worst she will do is throw old pies at you
Still, she's got whoopie cushions, trust me

Pfrrr-rrr-rrr-rrr-rrrttt, pfrrr-rrr-rrr-rrr-rrrttt
Pfrrr-rrr-rrr-rrr-rrr-rrr-rrr-rrr-rrr-rrr-rrr-rrr-rrr-rrrttt

Nanner = banana. Pfffrrrttt = my onomatopeia for the sound of said whoopie cushions. Me = moron who nearly forgot to submit this because my brain's been occupied by DJ Earworm's recent 1-hour 2008 nostalgia-bomb-for-me of a mashup.

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 LittleLots
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 9

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 3   0
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 5   9
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User Comments

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Matthias - March 30, 2018 - Report this comment
She seems like a barrel of laughs! I’d hang out with this chick as long as I’m not the one that she’s constantly pranking.
Agrimorfee - March 30, 2018 - Report this comment
Hehe, this is a fun counterpoint to Kristof's parody (about a prankster guy, instead of gal) also this morning.
Peregrin - March 30, 2018 - Report this comment
"Cause she's mildly addicted to being a tease". Hey there now, you're talking about every woman I love - lol. I was proud to have worked out your onomatopeia before seeing the explanation. That sort of made up for missing what nanna peels were (you would think the 'peel' part was a hint...), I was thinking "What? Old person skin flakes?". Good job here, Conq.
Claude Prez - March 30, 2018 - Report this comment
Yeah, I agree with Matthias, she sounds great....theoretically. Well done
Stuart McArthur - March 30, 2018 - Report this comment
A lot of funny stuff, conq, but none better than the brilliant title sub - had me laughing before I even opened it up - 555
Peter Andersson - March 31, 2018 - Report this comment
Would the classic Monthy Python comment "I fart in your general direction" be appropriate here? Probably not - but that's the brain fart I'm coming up with.

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