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Song Parodies -> "The Old Man Winter"

Original Song Title:

"The Entertainer"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Billy Joel

Parody Song Title:

"The Old Man Winter"

Parody Written by:

Michael Pacholek

The Lyrics

Our old friend William Tong and I have been bouncing our respective New York and Chicago winter stories off each other, and this came to me as if in a snowdrift.
(instrumental opening)

I am the Old Man Winter
and I'll freeze you where you stand.
Another icy splinter
with some frostbite in your hands.
Today I have you slammed again.
I may have chilled your hearts.
And you know my game:
Jack Frost is my name
and I'll come back here
at the end of the year
with a chill that's off the charts.

Oh-whoa.

I am the Old Man Winter
and you've had to pay my price:
The furnace used to heat your house
you've now replaced it twice.
Aw, but still I come to haunt you.
Still I have my say.
So you learn to dance
in some fur-lined pants.
So put on another log.
Ignore the groundhog
'cause I just won't go away.

Oh-whoa.

I am the Old Man Winter
and I've been all around the world.
You're melting polar icecaps.
Around you, they've unfurled.
You say no global warming?
You say it's just a hoax?
But they scientists
they all shake their fists
'cause the glaciers snapped
and in ice age you're trapped.
So go save your Al Gore jokes!

I am the Old Man Winter
and I bring to you my song:
Let it snow, let it snow, let it
snow all winter long.
Aw, you've got to warm your car up.
for more minutes each time.
And just watch your back
and a heart attack
'cause you shovel snow
or you just can't go
in this polar vortex clime!

I am the Old Man Winter.
I come to dump my snow.
You've my latest reports
told on the radio.
Aw, it took me months to get here.
Now I have ruined your life.
It was a beautiful snow
but you just can't go.
And if you don't beat it
you're just gonna have a fit.
See my inches: 25!

I am the Old Man Winter
the icicle of rage.
You wish that it was sunny
but I provide the stage.
Now, you've seen me in the papers.
I provide the frigid scenes.
And because I'm cold
you feel so old.
And you say, "Take me
down to Miami!"
Oh yeah, baby? In your dreams!

I am the Old Man Winter!
And I'll freeze you where you stand!
Another icy splinter
with some frostbite in your hands!
Today I have you slammed again!
I may have chilled your hearts!
And you know my game:
Jack Frost is my name
and I'll come back here
at the end of the year
with a chill that's off the charts!

(instrumental close)

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Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 5

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User Comments

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Callmelennie - March 04, 2014 - Report this comment
You think you've had it tough; here in Phoenix we've had to suffer through unprecedented stifling warmth. It's getting so bad for my ash tree out back that I may be forced to call the tree trimmer three weeks earlier than normal. I've also been forced to increase my watering schedule for the sun exposed plants in front from once a week to once every five days, which will undoubtedly add uncounted dimes to my monthly water bill. And with all this lack of cloud cover, I may be forced to see a skin cancer specialist; something I had hoped to delay until I reached the age of sixty. And would you believe it, because of this, I've been forced to wear long sleeved shirts this winter when puttering around in my back yard ...... So you see, there can be things just as bad as living right next to a completely frozen Great Lake
madamDeTokerville - March 04, 2014 - Report this comment
Sir, it has been dark here for weeks in NorCAL with little rain to show for all the dismal days, but reading the news, I feel for you all on the East Coast pirates !
Patrick - March 05, 2014 - Report this comment
I wondered where William Tong went. I'd like to get his take on how all this cold and snow are George Bush's fault. I see you are using the album version of "The Entertainer". The 45 rpm record refers to the length of the song as "cut it down to 3:05. They left off a verse that wasn't considered fit for Top 40 radio. You do some good work with this melody. Supposed to be 70 degrees Monday in KC. That might melt some of what's left of this year's global warming.

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