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Song Parodies -> "*That* Kind of Woman"

Original Song Title:

"Always a Woman"

Original Performer:

Billy Joel

Parody Song Title:

"*That* Kind of Woman"

Parody Written by:

Phil Alexander

The Lyrics

"Son, you need to watch out for that kind of woman"

"What kind of woman would that be, Dad?"

"Let me put it like this...
She's the kind that has make-up
That's like a disguise
With a half-inch of eye-liner round both her eyes
And her clothing reveals what you *don't* want to see
It's yeuch, and it's gross
'Cause she's *that* kind of woman, you see

Has a stud through her lip
And a ring through her nose
Yet she still can suck tennis balls
Right through a hose
And she's not got a boyfriend, she has two or three
Or four, five or six
'Cause she's *that* kind of woman, you see

Oh--she's got hair on her chest
Like a welcome mat rug
That is coated in slime
Oh--if she got her tits out
You'd scream "Put 'em back in"
Yes, she's really that kind

She's got lists of old boyfriends
In tons of tattoos
Some of which have gone septic
And you can see them ooze
And she has been infected
With ten STDs
She'll never use condoms -
She's *that* kind of woman, you see

Oh - she has silicone breasts
You can feel if you want
As she don't seem to mind
Oh - you can do what you like
If you buy her a drink
She's pissed out of her mind

At the lowest of dives
And the seediest bars
She'll pretend to give blow-jobs
To Cuban cigars
Or fellating her bottle
And I know all this, son
'Cause your mother was one
Yes, she's *that* kind of woman, you see

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   7

User Comments

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Old Man Ribber - September 08, 2011 - Report this comment
Phil - I remember meeting her in Amsterdam. ;D
John Jenkins - September 08, 2011 - Report this comment
Tatoos/ooze and several other excellent lines. This could be a winner @ the 2012 Musical Comedy Awards.
Michael Pacholek - September 08, 2011 - Report this comment
Seems like only yesterday that I met her in Sayreville, New Jersey. Oh, wait, it was yesterday. (Don't worry, nothing happened.)
Susanna Viljanen - September 09, 2011 - Report this comment
In Finland we have a nickname "Straight Flush" for a woman who has five different STDs. Not a good hand in this grand poker of life... Fives.
Phil Alexander - September 09, 2011 - Report this comment
:-) Thanks everyone

OMR - looks like she does get around
JJ - If I could sing it properly, perhaps: like most BJ songs, it hits all the wrong bits of the range
MP - she definitely gets around
Susanna - :lol: a full house too many.. tell me, though: do you have a nickname for a man who has five different STDs?
Leo Keough - September 09, 2011 - Report this comment
This one sounds like it would be a lot of fun to perform...Great job!!!...555!!!
John Barry - September 09, 2011 - Report this comment
Where can I meet her?

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