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Song Parodies -> "She's Always a Clinton"

Original Song Title:

"She's Always a Woman"

Original Performer:

Billy Joel

Parody Song Title:

"She's Always a Clinton"

Parody Written by:

The Lyrics

The word of the day is FINALLY! (Ya gotta love someone who doesn't know when to stop lobbing grenades and start cleaning up shrapnel.)
Oh, and three more words: Robert Lund recording.
She's Attila the Hun with a touch of June Cleaver
If she says she'll concede, you should never believe her
'Cause her word isn't "candid," it's "candidacy"
She connives like a Rove but she's always a Clinton to me

She's got laughter and tears, but they're strangely robotic
And she makes the left tense and the right go psychotic
There's an anxie-ty on which both sides agree
And she'll bore like a Gore but she's always a Clinton to me

She can feel no regret
She won't let you forget
All the votes she's amassed
And she'll never retire
And she's never dodged fire
She just changes her past

She can stick with a spouse who's increasingly creepy
She can say Barack sucks and then beg to be V.P.
Call her "Capitol Hil" 'cause that's where she must be
Any Zero IQ could replace W
But she's always a Clinton to me

(c) 2008+ On to the half-White House!

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 25

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   24

User Comments

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Kristof Robertson - June 06, 2008 - Report this comment
Great stuff, Spaff! She really has NO shame, has she? Well, obviously, as she's still with Bill...;-) 555+
Peter Andersson - June 06, 2008 - Report this comment
There's always 2012, 2016, 2020, 2024, 2028, 2032, 2036, 2040, 2044... my guess is we haven't heard the last of her.
Patrick - June 06, 2008 - Report this comment
Well written. Hillary Clinton as President used to be my biggest nightmare, until Barack came along. Where is a Ronald Reagan when we need him?
Michael Pacholek - June 06, 2008 - Report this comment
So much great art has come from tragedy, and Hillary's story is tragedy in the grand sense, if not in the morbid sense. Patrick: Ronald Reagan is dead, and this country has never needed him or anyone like him.
UnKnownVotrix - June 06, 2008 - Report this comment
to the Staff at Spaff: . . . This is so good ! Every line is true about the ~Michigan Muse~ ! Best line: "she's not Candid, she's candacy"!
Matthias - June 06, 2008 - Report this comment
Hil-arious! The only thing that I saw wrong with this parody was that it was too short, I remember the original song being a few verses and choruses longer... But I guess with that much Spaff-tasticness we would all go crazy and vote Bush back in to office once again (With the way he's screwing up he government now he can probably repeal that ammendment and make it possible to have more Bush)
McKludge - June 06, 2008 - Report this comment
The IQ - W line was excellent.

Twice in one week? I hope this means we'll see more of you around these parts again. Although it did give the rest of use a chance to win SOTM :-)
Dfoofnik Don - June 06, 2008 - Report this comment
That's a very thorough treatment, even if we have to leave out the B-word. ;-) (see my upcoming on McCain, but sorry, it's not to the tune of Maverick)
John Jenkins - June 06, 2008 - Report this comment
Excellent stuff, Spaff. Of course, I liked the "bore/Gore" line better than the "IQ/W" line.
Rick C - June 07, 2008 - Report this comment
I was hoping what happened in the Kentucky Derby would happen in this race as well and, they would have to euthanize the only filly in the race, because she was lame and came in second. Top parody, Spaff. Your masterful use of the language never ceases to make me smile.
Tim Mayfield - June 07, 2008 - Report this comment
Ah, what can I say? I'm speechless, unlike the candidates on the ticket. I have at least half a dozen faves in this one. I think these two win for me: She can stick with a spouse who's increasingly creepy She can say Barack sucks and then beg to be V.P.
Rex - June 07, 2008 - Report this comment
You didn't beat around the Bush on this one...great work!
Barry Wilson JR. - June 07, 2008 - Report this comment
Great work, the best line was Zero IQ as relating to W. That's HILarious, 555.
alvin - June 08, 2008 - Report this comment
beautifully done....brought a tear to my eye as much as the OS did
Jack Wilson - June 10, 2008 - Report this comment
That was just plain HILARIOUS 555
Arwen - June 10, 2008 - Report this comment
Lovely, Spaff...still giggling. =) - June 10, 2008 - Report this comment
I think I've said this before, but Hillary Clinton is clearly not the polarizing figure that pundits make her out to be. She is very talented at uniting both ends of the political spectrum. Granted, what she unites them with is her ability to make them foam at the mouth, but it's still something.

Thanks, Kristof & Peter & Patrick & Michael & Votrix & Matthias & McKludge (no worries) & Don & John & Rick (ha!) & Tim & Rex & Barry & alvin & Jackie & Arwen! (Arwen?!) Fun website y'all got here.

Oh, and Matthias: The original repeats the bridge and adds another stanza. Robert and I agreed that we should bow out gracefully rather than dragging this thing on.
stuart mcarthur - June 10, 2008 - Report this comment
every line a perfectly-measured inspired winner, as usual Spaff - sheesh
"though you go on hiatus you're always the greatest to me"
Peregrin - June 12, 2008 - Report this comment
Good stuff Spaff - "bore like a Gore" heh heh
Spoof-Man - June 25, 2008 - Report this comment
Spaff let me just ask you one question... If Brack Obama becomes president, will it still be called the White House? Awsome as allways..keep it up!
Smart @$$ Commentor - June 25, 2008 - Report this comment
I'm just being a smart @$$, but unless the house was painted another color. . .isn't the house still white? Unless perhaps Obama painted it Blue, or Pink . . .there we go, let's have a "Pink House" - July 17, 2008 - Report this comment
Thanks, Stu & Pippin!

Spoof-Man & Commentor: I caught that reference to the guy who kicked up a firestorm in Texas by selling the "racist" pins. Sheesh. People need to get a freaking sense of humor. The New Yorker cover thing too. There's enough legitimately horrifying stuff out there to get outraged at that it's a waste of time and energy to get outraged at what is obviously meant to be humor.

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