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Song Parodies -> "Paisano Man"

Original Song Title:

"Piano Man"

Original Performer:

Billy Joel

Parody Song Title:

"Paisano Man"

Parody Written by:

Guy DiRito

The Lyrics

This here was wrote for my goomba Joey "Coconuts" Nazario wit whom I am astutly associated wit at our place of business. We strive to propagate owah cultcha and refinedment wit our utter non Italian workin' associates who eater laff wit us and just not near us else their proteckshun premiums will start to escallate at a most rapid, alarmin' and astondin' rate.
The ninth street dock and you sat all day,
The regular stuff smuggled in.
There's "Icy Dan" hittin' stiffs for fees,
Whackin' guys is harmonic to him.

They say "son, best you lose it your memory",
It's just business so keep out your nose.
We like lads who are neat and know how be discreet,
Or wardrobe we'll add cement clothes.

Don't sing a song on Pisano Man,
Garrote, you're gone, it's tight.
You better take fall for his felony,
Your family still dealing 'em right.

Tu no vist-a na-da,
La Co-sa No-stra vi-da.

Don't sing a song on Pisano Man,
Garrote, you're gone, it's tight.
You better take fall for his felony,
Your family still dealing 'em right.

Now Joe at his bar he had done some time,
No get out of jail card free.
He hit this gamoke who then went up in smoke,
He saved face; a non ratter, he.
For that chill, he paid up his billin' fee,
He's got guile; he can rip off a face.
So they set him up a movie bar,
Now he lets wise guys use his place.

Ah, Tu no vist-a na-da,
La Co-sa No-stra vi-da.

Now Pauley he runs the metropolis,
He's good with a gun or a knife.
He stalks them so gravely, he likes toss granadies,
That's how he would end them their life.

Their greatness is how they play politics,
They're just businessmen bad to the bone.
Tony shares with his shrink all his Rome-ly-ness,
But he does most his thinkin' at home.

Don't sing a song on Pisano Man,
Garrote, you're gone, it's tight.
You better take fall for his felony,
Your family still dealing 'em right.

Then there's Carmine "2-Loud" ran a "laun-der-y",
Now he manages bars on Long Isle.
Cause the money's the scene that they're needin' to clean,
Can't forget that he's so versatile.
The Pisano he screams like a carnivore,
GIVE THAT MIKE A PHONE! yells in your ear.
You can manage a bar or shoot lead through a car,
They say man, "what you do ovah 'eah?"

Ah, Tu no vist-a na-da,
La Co-sa No-stra vi-da.

Don't sing a song on Pisano Man,
Garrote, you're gone, it's tight.
You better take fall for his felony,
Your family still dealing 'em right.

Seriously - Joe works with me and we get the entire server room going off when we get up on our Italian which is like every day. Joe calls me Guy "Potato Chips". Hope you have enjoyed this. Joe did.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 16

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   16

User Comments

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Peter Andersson - October 26, 2007 - Report this comment
Ann Hammond - October 26, 2007 - Report this comment
I like
alvin - October 26, 2007 - Report this comment
i'm afraid NOT to leave fives......great job on this
Agrimorfee - October 26, 2007 - Report this comment
555, with a meatball on the side. This is what I am talking about when a song parody is so much better when the OS words are nonexistant, or heavily twisted to change their entire meaning.
AFW - October 26, 2007 - Report this comment
Did you and The Turtle plan this matching shotgun pair of entries, or just a coinkydink?...anyways, great job..
Tommy Turtle - October 26, 2007 - Report this comment
Great minds kill alike... Loved "Rome-ly-ness" and "carnivore". ... but, uh, if this isn't about the sculptors (Nicola, Andrea, and Giovani Pisano), isn't it "Paisano"? just wondering. Great subs as usual, Guy. 555
PMS - October 26, 2007 - Report this comment
555 offers you can't refuse
Guy - October 26, 2007 - Report this comment
Thanks k1chyd AKA Peter, Ann,alvin & PMS and Agri. And Agri gratzi for the spicy meat-a-ball. I am so glad to entertain all of you. Your comments make my day. AFW It was mostly coinkydink I think. Yesterday, I made a comment on either on one of TT's or one of my parodies that I was turning the Mafia loose on the site tomorrow. Don't know if he picked up on that and then got the idea or he had already written it. Guess you need to ask him. I had no idea that he was going to write what he did and I was not very specific with the comment - But as TT says great minds kill alike. I've seen these weird coinkydinks fairly often over the time I've spent on this site. I was totally surprised to see Soprano Man right next to mine. And finally TT. I'm really not sure how pisano or paisano is really spelled. You see I only learned to communicate verbally in Italian from my Grandmother and the old counrty folks who lived in my neighborhood which had the "original" name of little Italy. On the other hand I learned Spanish in school and was taught to read and write it. I tried several translator sites but oddly enough the word spelled either way was not found in the dictionary databases. It really means buddy or chum. For those of you who want a loose translation on the Italian in this parody here it is: Ah, Tu no vist-a na-da, La Co-sa No-stra vi-da. Oh, you don't see nothing, our thing's our life. I had a lot of fun writing this. And Joey Coconuts really liked it. He is the only real person in this parody. All other names were changed for some protection money and to protect our interests. Chao everyone.
TT - October 26, 2007 - Report this comment
Guy, I had *no* idea that you were going to use this OS. Of all the OSs in all the gin joints in all the world,... "Soprano Man" was started a week or so ago, finished a couple of days ago, and planned for submission Thursday for posting Friday all along. Coinky-dinky, rather ("Outer Limits" theme plays.) For the record, I would *never* try to steal someone's thunder like that. If you had posted this or talked about it, and it had given me the idea, I would have posted *after* yours, and given a plug "Inspired by Guy DiRito's song..." etc. -- as I have done many times on occasion. I didn't even think about it when I saw your vague Mafia comment. Cheers!
Guy - October 27, 2007 - Report this comment
TT - I'm the same in these regards. I've seen people get all bent out of shape when someone gets anywhere near something they did and they flame on and on like some females who cat fight at a big event when they are both wearing the same dress. I never get bothered when someone puts a parody out even when it's the exact same thing as I have done. On the other hand I rarely look up previous postings when I write and sometimes I step on someone and "steal" their thunder. After all in the OS world this happens all the time when multiple artists do their respective versions of the same OS. It's a petty thing I've seen on the site a number of times. My thunder is your thunder as in mi casa es su casa.
Walt C - October 28, 2007 - Report this comment
Very Funny Guy.. three bi fives for you. I am glad to see you aren't annoyed by another mother doing a cover...
Guy - October 28, 2007 - Report this comment
Thanks Walt - All of us should be here for the same reason and that is to spoof, jive, jack up & crank up anything and everything with almost nothing being sacred except for that which is genuinly Sacred as would be any individual's idea of what is sacred to them. I have my Sacreds and I don't parody on top of them usually except when a mitigating situation arrises which is very rare. On the other hand (are different fingers) I don't get upset when someone steps on my Sacreds. I can choose to ingore it and move on. When we adopt this kind of creed and standards to our art we have something beautiful together as we share our passions for prose, poetry, satire and just plain good old fun. God Bless Walt.
Matthias - November 15, 2007 - Report this comment
Aye, The family. Great work here, but how many times do I gotta-a tell you, we're a simple Itallian Bakery, not involved in any crimes.
Below Average Dave ( - November 22, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Very creative--Matthias, Aye is a pirate word mate!
Peter Andersson - November 24, 2007 - Report this comment
SOTM - Already commented.
Max Power - November 26, 2007 - Report this comment
5 packs
Agrimorfee - November 27, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) D.C. al capone. (music joke, there folks)
Mikey Squirrel - November 29, 2007 - Report this comment
SOTM- Love the original song, and this one was really well done, Guy. They should have used this for the closing song in Sopranos finale, but without the cut to black. I hate it when they just cut something just like th
bobpiecheese - November 29, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Mamma mia! Howsa bout this? The twisting of-a the original lyrics was bellissimo! 555 for-a you!!
stuart mcarthur - November 29, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) all the funnier for being about a real person, Guy - I hope he appreciated it - as bobpie said, great twisting of the OS and the "harmonic to him" sub for "tonic and gin" was sublime - 555
Kristof Robertson - November 29, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Hey paisan! Mucho terrifico tale of your buddy here, Guy. Da familee approves. 555
Phil Alexander - November 30, 2007 - Report this comment
Thought I'd commented on this already, saying something about a "Living la Cosa Nostra" sequel.. but obviously not. Better hope you don't piss Joe off too much, though :-)
Jason - November 30, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Ditto Kristof's comment
Jeff Reuben - November 30, 2007 - Report this comment
Good to see you back around here...good song, glad your friend liked it! I did as well...
McKludge - November 30, 2007 - Report this comment
SOTM - grenadies? Ah well, not the first liberty taken with the english language around here.
Guy - November 30, 2007 - Report this comment
About Joe - He grew up in New Jersey and when he was around 12 he told his mother that he wanted to be just like the wiseguys that ran his neighborhood. Joe said he found himself in Texas within a month. His parents moved to save him from that life. All his cousins are either "union stewarts", "bar managers", "construction entrepreneurs" etc.

True story - Joe actually had to kill a guy here in Texas. He was mugged at gun point returning to his car after jogging. One hood pulled a .22 cal pistol and shot him point blank. The round went partially into his chest and stopped exposing the very end of the slug. Joe took the gun away from the shooter and fired back killing him. The rest of the gang split. No charges were filed. Remember this is Texas.

It's Joe's stories about his relatives in Jersey, New York and Chicago that have given me the cannon fodder for the recent outbreak of crime on the site; Of course the crime is in the form of parodies. I only had one relative that I knew about that had any sort of mob ties and his was small time. He has since gone to the big rackets in the sky. He died within one month of his 102nd birthday in 2004.

And Phil - Joe is not the sort of person you would want to be on the wrong side of. He's a good guy but he can handle himself well.

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