Andrew steps up to the side of the plate
Three on and nobody out now
Down by three, bottom of the ninth
They're hoping he'll take one downtown
Oh, but thinking too hard cause panic attack-ack-ack-ack-acks
You oughta know by now (you oughta know by now)
Up next is Eric Happensack
The best home run hitter
It would seem such a waste of time
Your average leaves a doubt
Give Happensack a chance, cause you're striking out!
You're striking out!

Pitcher O'Meare started him outside
Umpire called it a strike, wow
Bill Malarkey's been living off of Allentown Drive
Ten miles from the town center
Pitch two, he fouls it back-ack-ack-ack-ack
You oughta know by now (you oughta know by now)
You weren't much of an 0-2 hitter
These fans want to see one go out
As far as the ball can go
That's what it's all about
Now you're down 0-2, you should just strike out!
You're striking out!

You should never doubt Eric Happensack-ack-ack-ack
You oughta know by now (you oughta know by now)
Too late, the third one is past you
Malarkey raised up his right hand

O'Meare was just wasting time
Happensack would drive one out
Yeah, we won the darn game
Cause you... just struck out!
You just struck out!

(Sound of bus revving, drving away after victory as song fades)