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Song Parodies -> "Second Shift (Walmart Man)"

Original Song Title:


Original Performer:

Billy Joel

Parody Song Title:

"Second Shift (Walmart Man)"

Parody Written by:

Andrew D. Lacroix

The Lyrics

This is one of my spinoffs to my earlier parody, "WalMart Man", which drew interesting responses after less than 24 hours. This features just a few of the associates I know and work with. I will be coming up with at least one more. This is song number 22, and the first song that is a parody of a song I have already parodied.
It's two o'clock on a Saturday
Second shift shuffles in
There's a young man standing next to me
Just waiting to get punched in

He says, "Drew, see that truck right next to me?
Help me unload it please
I may be a man who could not give a damn
But I am always wimpy."

Chorus: Write us a song, you're a writer, man
Write us a song tonight
We're overdue for a parody
And you're going to pen it, alright.

Now Brian is the guy in the cooler
Who gets me my milk for cheap
But he curses out loud and draws a big crowd
The censors would make him say beep!

He says, "Drew, I believe this is hurting me."
As he went to get me some dough
"Well I'm sure that I ought to retire
If I was making a lot mo'."

Now Cole has a real life problem
He'll never have love or a wife
He's talking with Keith, who has crooked teeth
And probably needs braces for life

Ben wanted to practice driving stick
As all of us slowly get bored
They're talking to mewhile I'm trying to pee
I should run them over in my Ford.


Eleven o'clock same old Saturday
My girlfriend gives me a smile
I know that it's me she is coming to see
To b***h about work for a while

And the freezer is as cold as Antarctica
And the buzzer as loud as a bee
I cannot wait to punch out now
This place is crazy you see!

Last chorus

Written 10/20/07 by Andrew D. Lacroix.

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Voting Results

Pacing: 3.5
How Funny: 3.0
Overall Rating: 3.0

Total Votes: 2

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   1
 3   0
 4   0
 5   1

User Comments

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Guy - October 20, 2007 - Report this comment
Best line - "The censors would make him say beep!" 2nd best line - "And the freezer is as cold as Antarctica". I like your parody but hate Walmart. They ruined my car doing an oil change. They started the car with no oil in it and it was a Subaru WRX - Bad to do. They shorted it a quart of oil. Also very bad for a high performance vehicle. They did the oil change during morning shift change at which time they were having a meeting which I sat through while one guy worked on the car. They didn't have the video running in the mechanic bays. They refused to fix my vehicle because my son changed the air intake to enhance the vehicle's performance. They refused to pay based on the fact that all of the factory intalled parts were not on the car. They put me in the hole about $10,000. Walmart or as the locals in south Texas call it, Wally Martinez sucks bigtime. I refuse to shop there anymore. Trying to deal with the walmart administrators for claims was like dealing with someone from another planet. I swear the store should be renamed to "Wal-Mars". 1's for Walmart 5's for Andrew.
Andrew D. Lacroix - October 21, 2007 - Report this comment
Guy, thanks. It's comments like yours and true stories like that that make comedian writers like you and I write parodies about 'em. This song is true: I know every person in this song and they all allowed me permission to format this song, one of my favorites by Joel, as replacement for people that Joel knew back when he actually played the bars. One of my other Joel parodies is "Allentown", my hometown and home store. Next month is the 25th anniversary of the release of the song, back when Allentown, PA, was a small place. Thanks for commenting, and I have one more "Pianoman" parody coming up which is basically "WalmartMan" with 3 additional choruses to replace the one in the original parody.
Guy - October 21, 2007 - Report this comment
I'll be awaiting your next publication about your work-place. It was obvious to me that these are real people and real events from your place of employment. My son worked for Walmart for a short time in the automotive service department. I know from him how Walmart treats their employees. Incompetent and inconsistent leadership is a big minus for this behemoth of retail outlet establishments. You say when Allentown was small - I grew up the first 18 years of my life in a small SW Pa. coal mining community of 1500 people soaking wet. Now that is small town USA. Keep on writing - I like your stories a whole heap better than your employer.

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