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Song Parodies -> "Commercial Man"

Original Song Title:

"Piano Man"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Billy Joel

Parody Song Title:

"Commercial Man"

Parody Written by:

Michael Pacholek

The Lyrics

So I'm at the deli, buying a bottle of soda, and "Piano Man" is playing over the speakers. And the guy running it sings, "Say, Sally, can you get me some chicken salad?" I say to him, "I'm not really sure that's how it goes!" It cracked them up. After that, these words came naturally.
(instrumental opening)

It's nine o'clock on a Saturday.
The regular show pipes right in.
There's an old man sitting next to me
waiting for the new ads to begin.

He says, "Sometimes you feel like a nut, you see."
And I said, "Well, sometimes you don't."
And we trade off the sounds of Almond Joy and Mounds.
He likes to eat almonds, I won't.

Oh, la, da-da, da-de-da
la-da, da-de-da, da-dum.

Play us a jingle, Commercial Man.
Play us a jingle light.
Well, we're all in the mood for that melody
and hoping the price will be right.

(brief instrumental break)

Now, John at the bar is a friend of mine.
He's watching ad on Channel 3.
And he's quick with a poke, "There's detectors of smoke.
That's not someplace that I'd rather be."

Lawyer says, "You have something that's killing you?
I'll put smiles right back onto your face.
Well, I'm Alan Rothenberg, litigation star.
I'll win you the CEO's place!"

Oh, la, da-da, da-de-da
la-da, da-de-da, da-dum.

Now Paul is a real estate land pitchman
selling Florida to you and your wife.
And we move on to Davy, recruiting for Navy
and selling insurance for life.

And the waitresses look good at restaurant
while the guys in its ad look so stoned.
Yes, they're sharing a drink from Anheuser-Busch.
We now return you to "Twilight Zone!"

(piano break)

Play us a jingle, Commercial Man.
Play us a jingle light.
Well, we're all in the mood for that melody
and hoping the price will be right.

It's a really sad case on a Saturday
and I don't have a reason to smile.
Because it's so very bad I'm watching these shows and ads
and haven't had me a date for a while.

Because Arwen's selling cruise trips on Carnival
and my lovelife just can't get in gear.
So I sit in my chair, watch ads for growing hair
and say, "Man, what am I doing here?"

Oh, la, da-da, da-de-da
la-da, da-de-da, da-dum.

Play us a jingle, Commercial Man.
Play us a jingle light.
Well, we're all in the mood for that melody
and hoping the price will be right.

(instrumental close)

Your Vote & Comment Counts

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 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 



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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.5
How Funny: 4.4
Overall Rating: 4.5

Total Votes: 10

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 1
 1
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   1
 2
 1
 
 5   8
 7
 8
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

John Barry - September 27, 2007 - Report this comment
Most amusing. I'm working on this OS--kinda tough.
alvin - September 27, 2007 - Report this comment
great concept...lol
Ann Hammond - September 27, 2007 - Report this comment
he he
Johnny D - September 27, 2007 - Report this comment
The following is a Paid Comment Presentation: 555 Ways To Become A Billionaire Without Doing Anything At All.
Michael Pacholek - September 27, 2007 - Report this comment
If only, Johnny, if only...
AFW - September 27, 2007 - Report this comment
Top job, top humor
2Eagle - September 27, 2007 - Report this comment
Do you still remember those cigarette ads from the Sixties? And "Let Hertz put you in the driver's seat".
guy - September 27, 2007 - Report this comment
Lawyer says, "You have something that's killing you? I'll put smiles right back onto your face. Well, I'm Alan Rothenberg, litigation star. I'll win you the CEO's place!" Not a clue where this is coming from Now Paul is a real estate land pitchman This line needs some remidial pacing totoring. All in all it could be funny if it hasn't been already done to death. Still I will give you a fair and deserving vote.
MrMacphisto - September 27, 2007 - Report this comment
Great job, man... 5-5-5
Michael Pacholek - September 28, 2007 - Report this comment
Alan Rothenberg is a real lawyer. He runs ads on New York TV, calling himself "THE injury lawyer." His most recent phone number is 1-800-LAW-KING. He looks like a parody, but he's real. "Real estate land pitchman" has exactly the same number of syllables as "real estate novelist," so you've got no beef there. And, no, cigarette ads were banned from TV in 1971, before I was old enough to watch.
Jonathan S. (surprise!) - September 28, 2007 - Report this comment
"Don't look away...just the Jon-o Man / And you get trip-le 5's / And your parody's..." Oh, forget it. I can't do a good sub with this. But, dude, I'm serious about the $5, er, fives; you earned 'em. Now go buy yourself a Sprite.

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