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Song Parodies -> "Just Has Been Disbarred"

Original Song Title:

"Just the Way You Are"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Billy Joel

Parody Song Title:

"Just Has Been Disbarred"

Parody Written by:

Michael Pacholek

The Lyrics

Former Durham County, North Carolina Prosecutor Mike Nifong was disbarred for perjury and obstruction of justice in trying to prosecute three players from the Duke University lacrosse team for rape, charges that proved groundless. While it's true that college kids + party + strippers + booze = a pretty good chance that somebody did something wrong, this wasn't just "reasonable doubt": There was no evidence of the specific crime for which they were charged. You gotta hand it to Nifong: He actually got some people connected with Duke's arch-rival, the University of North Carolina, to sympathize with the Dukies.
(instrumental opening)

Don't go changing
the facts of cases
to fit conceptions of before.
Mm-hm-hm.
You don't imagine
evidence out there
or court won't see you anymore.

I would not say you
were in such trouble
if you had not gone way too far.
Mm-hm-hm.
Instead, you're whiner
in Carolina.
Mike Nifong, just take your disbar.

You were a hotshot
of prosecution
and went after those guys from Duke.
Mm-hm-hm.
You'll always owe them
some restitution
because your ethics make us puke.

You think you're clever.
I think you're evil.
We all should have been on our guard.
Mm-hm-hm.
Even the Tar Heels
stand with Blue Devils.
And Nifong just has been disbarred!

I need to know that justice is
fair to both victim and defense.
Ah, but what will it take 'til he's out of that biz?
Disbarment's what law recommends.

We socked it to you
and that's forever.
His reputation badly marred.
Mm-hm-hm.
We showed Nifong
we deserve better.
And now he just has been disbarred!
Right!

(instrumental break)

He thinks he's clever.
We think he's evil.
I don't care if he takes it hard.

Even the Tar Heels
stand with Blue Devils.
And Nifong just has been disbarred!

(instrumental fadeout)

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.5
How Funny: 4.5
Overall Rating: 4.5

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   7
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User Comments

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McKludge - June 19, 2007 - Report this comment
I never thought I'd say this, coming from another ACC school, but I actually feel sorry for those preppy Duke boys. They got hosed.
555 days in the pokey for Mr. Nifong
MasonR - June 19, 2007 - Report this comment
Mr. Nifong has a promising future as a fiction writer, but Michael Pacholek has cornered the Parody market! Good job as always, Mr. P! 555
alvin - June 19, 2007 - Report this comment
you're gulty of delivering some clever rhymes...i sentence you to 3 terms of 5s
John Jenkins - June 19, 2007 - Report this comment
From the title, I thought this was going to be about a former president; but it was a (blue) devilishly good parody.
John Barry - June 20, 2007 - Report this comment
Again, what Alvin said.
Michael Pacholek - June 20, 2007 - Report this comment
Which President would that be, John J? Republican Richard Nixon?
John Jenkins - June 21, 2007 - Report this comment
The two disbarred former presidents make quite a pair, don't they?
Hicklery - June 27, 2007 - Report this comment
Guess Pacholek never got the memo that Clinton was CONVICTED of perjury and disbarred. Well, come next year, I'm sure we'll hear plenty about it next year... on the net, if those commiecrats manage to reinstate that treasonous "Fairness" doctrine of theirs...
Michael Pacholek - August 17, 2007 - Report this comment
Actually, "Hicklery," Clinton was ACQUITTED of perjury and was NOT disbarred. Nixon -- and his Vice President, Spiro Agnew -- were both disbarred. George W. Bush will never be disbarred, and for a very good reason. He's not a lawyer.

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