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Song Parodies -> "He's Always Been Goonin'"

Original Song Title:

"She's Always a Woman"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Billy Joel

Parody Song Title:

"He's Always Been Goonin'"

Parody Written by:

Michael Pacholek

The Lyrics

As the Stanley Cup Playoffs march on -- without my newly-eliminated New Jersey Devils -- this one goes out to all those players who are on the team for one reason, and one reason only -- and it ain't talent.
(piano intro)

He needs work on his smile, stitches over his eyes.
And he can ruin your face and knock you to the ice.
But when tough guy comes lookin', he's nowhere to see.
He hides like a child
and he's always been goonin' to me.

He can sucker a punch, he can sneak in then leave you.
You can knock out his tooth, but he'll never relieve you.
He's a cheap-shot defenseman who gets off scot-free.
Yeah, he whales like a thug
but he's always been goonin' to me.

Oh, he respects just himself.
It's the spotlight he wants.
Got a head full of slime.
Oh, and he might knock you out.
He gets sent to sin-bin.
But that don't change his mind.

And he'll hit you if you're from the U.S. or Sweden.
And he'll carelessly cut you, and laugh while you're bleedin'.
And he ain't scored a goal since nineteen ninety-three.
Blame it all on his coach
'cause he's always been goonin' to me.

(hums over instrumental break)

Oh, he respects just himself.
It's the spotlight he wants.
Got a head full of slime.
Oh, and he might knock you out.
He gets sent to sin-bin.
But that don't change his mind.

He's frequently coward and suddenly cruel.
If you fight back, he'll run, this guy's not THAT much fool.
And he won't be respected to any degree.
And so most hockey fans, say, "Knock him on his can!
'Cause he's always been goonin' to me!"

(hums over instrumental close)

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 3.8
How Funny: 1.9
Overall Rating: 1.9

Total Votes: 17

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   2
 13
 13
 
 2   2
 0
 0
 
 3   2
 0
 0
 
 4   2
 0
 0
 
 5   9
 4
 4
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

McDonald - May 08, 2007 - Report this comment
That's a hit!
alvin - May 08, 2007 - Report this comment
hate the OS...love what you did with it
Michael Pacholek - May 08, 2007 - Report this comment
I see Sean Avery voted.
Dylan Baranski - May 08, 2007 - Report this comment
Have the Boston Bruins been eliminated yet?
Michael Pacholek - May 08, 2007 - Report this comment
I think the Patriots were still playing after the Bruins were eliminated.
malcolm higgins - May 09, 2007 - Report this comment
sounds like the pussy of the year winner, Chris Chelios

The author of the parody has authorized comments, and wants YOUR feedback.

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