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Song Parodies -> "She's Just Not the Woman For Me"

Original Song Title:

"She's Always a Woman To Me"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Billy Joel

Parody Song Title:

"She's Just Not the Woman For Me"

Parody Written by:

Michael Pacholek

The Lyrics

(piano opening)

She can kill with a sword, she can wound with her eyes.
But she smokes and she likes 62-year-old guys.
We're about the same age, but this she will not see.
I hide like a child, 'cause she's just not the woman for me.

She could lead me to love in the sheets that are satin.
But if you ask for the truth, I won't have this chick Latin.
She took not what I'd give her, took Marc Anthony.
Yeah, she steals all my heart, but she's just not the woman for me.

Oh, I'd take care of herself.
She's the lady I want.
For now and for all time.

Oh, but I must live without.
'Cause she'll never give in.
She's just haunting my mind.

This one promised me "real and spectacular" viewing.
Then I carelessly proved I don't know what I'm doing.
I'm "desperate" at worst, "super," I'll never be.
Blame it all on myself, 'cause she's just not the woman for me.

(hums)

Oh, I'd take care of herself.
She's the lady I want.
For now and for all time.

Oh, but I must live without.
'Cause she'll never give in.
She's just haunting my mind.

If I sought me that cooker, get hit with pan frying.
I could have the dark angel, I know that I'm lying.
And I won't be adopted, I'm from wrong country.
And the most I can do, is tell Elf, "I love you"
'cause she might be the woman for me.

(hums over piano close)
First verse, Catherine Zeta-Jones; second verse, Jennifer Lopez; third verse, Teri Hatcher; fourth verse, Rachel Ray, Jessica Alba, Angelina Jolie and our own dear Arwen.

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 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 



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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 3.6
How Funny: 2.6
Overall Rating: 2.6

Total Votes: 31

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   11
 18
 18
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 1
 1
 
 5   20
 12
 12
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Yoidy - February 28, 2007 - Report this comment
Rachel Ray?!? I was almost gonna dock you a point.
Arwen - February 28, 2007 - Report this comment
So basically you're saying that I'm bringing up the rear in 7th place?
alvin rhodes - February 28, 2007 - Report this comment
nice 180
Johnny D - February 28, 2007 - Report this comment
Fives - and Rachel Ray happens to be cute.
Michael Pacholek - February 28, 2007 - Report this comment
Johnny: Thank you, and she's not just cute, she's "Yum-O." Arwen: No, basically I'm saying that I had to go through the rest to see who was the best. After all (Shameless Plug Alert!), when I hit 1,000 songs, "I Saved the Last Song For Thee." I guess this means I'm going to have to re-write Vanessa Williams' "Save the Best for Last."
Meriadoc - February 28, 2007 - Report this comment
Hmmm.... so if they don't KNOW you're stalking them, then you're not an official stalker, right? ;-)
Below Average Dave - February 28, 2007 - Report this comment
Nope, Meriadoc, I believe that makes you a peeping tom, not a stalker. . .
Phil Alexander - March 01, 2007 - Report this comment
You had me with the second line :-D (even if you did miss out "rich"...but I guess that wouldn't have scanned)
Linda - March 02, 2007 - Report this comment
Honestly Michael, did you really write this one or did someone else submit a song under your name? The pacing and grammar don't seem very good & I thought the content was really weak. You've been writing parody songs for a while now, and really, I can't even vote to score this one cus I just don't think you did it. (and that's a compliment by the way)

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