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Song Parodies -> "The Ranger"

Original Song Title:

"The Stranger"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Billy Joel

Parody Song Title:

"The Ranger"

Parody Written by:

Michael Pacholek

The Lyrics

In 1949, Billy Joel was born in New York City, Ranger territory. In 1953, his parents split up, and he and his mother moved to Levittown, then to Hicksville, Long Island. In 1972, as he was beginning his recording career, the New York Islanders were born, making Long Island no longer a part of Ranger territory. In 1979, BJ proved true to his team by singing the National Anthem before Game 3 of the Stanley Cup Finals. Didn't work, the Rangers lost to the Montreal Canadiens. In 1998, living in East Brunswick, New Jersey, Devils territory, I turned "The Downeaster 'Alexa'" into "The Minivan 'Alexa,'" imagining a frustrated Isles fan. In 2003, I posted it at Amiright. I still live in Devils territory. BJ still lives in Islander territory but is still a Ranger fan. Billy, I love ya man, but... RANGERS SUCK!!!!
(whistling over a soft piano, concluded by referee's whistle)

(guitar intro)

Well, we all had to wait, for the Cup it seemed forever
and in nineteen ninety-four it came, at last we finally won.
We were rockin', great we'd feel, we had curse but it was severed.
We were rooting for the Rangers, overjoyed at what they'd done.

Well, this ice game we love, it has many kinds of danger.
Though we go out to the Garden, it will sometimes feel like hell.
Why were you so surprised when I rooted for the Rangers?
Did you ever let your mother hear you talk like that yourself?

The Stanley Cup don't come again.
Our club goes south every now and then.
Woo woo.
We'd done it, now it's someone else.
You should know by now: Back into dry spell.

Once I used to believe I was such a great goaltender.
Then those mean New Jersey Devils came, I really hate those guys.
When they pressed upon my defense, my boys in blue had surrendered.
It was then they beat my Rangers, puck went sailing past my eyes.

Well, this ice game we love, it has many kinds of danger.
Though we go out to the Garden, it will sometimes feel like hell.
Why were you so surprised when I rooted for the Rangers?
Did you ever let your mother hear you talk like that yourself?

The Stanley Cup don't come again.
Our club goes south every now and then.
Woo woo.
We'd done it, now it's someone else.
You should know by now: Back into dry spell.

You may never understand why the Rangers look so tired.
But the management is evil and the coach is often wrong.
Though the boys have good intentions, it's the wrong guys who get fired.
And the fans are way too wired when the Rangers slide along!

(guitar fadeout)

(late whistle as piano fades out)
Like I said... RANGERS SUCK!

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.0
How Funny: 4.0
Overall Rating: 4.0

Total Votes: 4

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 3   0
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 5   3
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User Comments

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alvin rhodes - April 24, 2006 - Report this comment
heartfelt
Arwen - April 24, 2006 - Report this comment
Oh my gosh...I thought that this was going to be about Strider...; )
Michael Pacholek - April 24, 2006 - Report this comment
No, Arwen, I wouldn't have thought of that. Apparently, being a LOTR fan is a hard hobbit, I mean habit to break. I suppose, as a Wyomingian... Wyomian... Wyomese... person from Wyoming, you root for the Colorado Avalanche? (Mutters under his breath about the 2001 Cup Finals, when the Devils blew a 3-games-to-2 lead to the Avs...) Anyway, no more St. Patrick, so... lotsa luck.
Rod W - April 24, 2006 - Report this comment
Iced it, Michael!
Larry Hensley - April 24, 2006 - Report this comment
Too bad Gretzky's gone. But this parody was a hat trick!

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