Making fun of music, one song at a time. Since the year 2000.
Check out the two amIright misheard lyrics books including one book devoted to misheard lyrics of the 1980s.
(Toggle Right Side Navigation)

Song Parodies -> "Can't Stand Jack"

Original Song Title:

"Captain Jack"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Billy Joel

Parody Song Title:

"Can't Stand Jack"

Parody Written by:

Michael Pacholek

The Lyrics

Another anti-"Jack-FM" parody.
(instrumental opening)

Saturday night, the knob is turning around.
You want to rock out there in New York town.
You want your Cousin Brucie to spin 'em round
for a while.
Mm-hm...

He'd send songs to The Village
to Brooklyn and Queens.
Connecticut boys would hear
out on the town greens
and the Jersey boys turned it up
out on the scene
and they'd smile.
Whoa-ho....

I can't stand Jack!
I hate that guy tonight!
From Morristown out to Long Island!
I can't stand Jack!
Just pass him by tonight!
Bring the oldies back and I'll be smilin!
Oh, whoa, oh, whoa, oh yeah...

My sister's gone out, she's on a date.
Even though she was born in '78
she still likes songs from well before that date.
Don't we all?
Mm-hm?

And we stand on the corner in our Fifties clothes.
Boys, we look so boss there, from our hair down to our toes.
But the program director, we wanna punch his nose.
He's got gall!
Whoa-ho...

I can't stand Jack!
I hate that guy tonight!
From Poughkeepsie to Long Beach Island!
I can't stand Jack!
I cannot lie tonight!
Bring the oldies back and I'll be smilin!
Oh, whoa, oh, whoa, oh yeah...

So you decide to get it off your chest.
You wanna tell 'em to play the songs you like the best.
Aw, but there's no one there to take your request.
And what for?
Mm-hm?

And you've heard everything, you know what's cool.
Think of songs you heard by the swimming pool.
Songs you danced to at the diner after school.
Not no more!
Whoa-ho...

I can't stand Jack!
I hate that guy tonight!
From New Haven to Staten Island!
I can't stand Jack!
I wish he'd fly tonight!
Bring the oldies back and I'll be smilin!
Oh, whoa, oh, whoa, oh yeah...

So you play your albums that you like a lot
and you meet your girlfriend at your usual spot.
Aw, and you're aching for your Camelot.
What went wrong?
Mm-hm?

And you can't understand why your radio's dead.
Why they had to change the style, with an empty head.
Well, it's 9:00, but still, you feel like going to bed
with no good song!

Whoa-ho, whoa, yeah, yeah!
I can't stand Jack!
I hate that guy tonight!
From Morristown out to Long Island!
Aw, I can't stand Jack!
Just pass him by tonight!
Bring the oldies back and I'll be smilin!
Whoa, I can't stand Jack!
I hate that guy tonight!
From Morristown out to Long Island!
Aw, I can't stand Jack!
And he must die tonight!
Bring the oldies back and I'll be smilin!
(repeat 'til fade)
If Billy Joel hears Jack-FM, he would NOT say "It's still rock and roll to me."

Your Vote & Comment Counts

The parody authors spend a lot of time writing parodies for the website and they appreciate feedback in the form of votes and comments. Please take some time to leave a comment below about this parody.

Place Your Vote

 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 



In order for your vote to count, you need to hit the 'Place Your Vote' button.
 

Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.3
How Funny: 4.3
Overall Rating: 4.3

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 1
 1
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   5
 5
 5
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

MasonR - February 10, 2006 - Report this comment
Sorry I didn't see this first, so I'm going to repeat myself here...WABC (yes the talk station that used to be the best damn Top-40 station in the world) is playing music again, as a direct result of JACK-FM bumping WCBS-FM's oldies format--one of the worst moves in New York radio history. WABC is doing an oldies show every Sat. night from 6-10. You've got to check it out. Mark Simmone's the host, and he has gone to great lengths to revive the old WABC musicradio sound, complete with old jingles, reverb, old commercials...and of course a great playlist. Even if you aren't in the NY area you might be able to hear the broadcast--I was in Florida a few weeks ago and picked up the show on the car radio! Not to worry, the show is completely non-political (unlike their talk format, which is nauseating). BTW I'm not affiliated with WABC, just a very happy listener on Saturday nights!
Larry Hensley - February 13, 2006 - Report this comment
Another good one.

The author of the parody has authorized comments, and wants YOUR feedback.

Link To This Page

The address of this page is: http://www.amiright.com/parody/70s/billyjoel211.shtml For help, see the examples of how to link to this page.

This is view # 710