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Song Parodies -> "I Spend All My Dole On Beer"

Original Song Title:

"It's Still Rock And Roll To Me"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Billy Joel

Parody Song Title:

"I Spend All My Dole On Beer"

Parody Written by:

Kristof Robertson

The Lyrics

Dole: A common British/Australian word for Unemployment Benefits.
What's the matter with the life I'm leadin'?
"Dude, the government pays your way"
I'm not unemployed; I'm ca-reer restin'
"Sittin' on your fat a$$ all day"
Down the track or splashin' out on my honey
And Child Support says I should cough up for my sonny
Don't pay any rent because I live with Mummy
And I spend all my dole on beer

What's the matter with the jobs I'm offered?
"Can't you hold one for just a week?"
Bussing tables daily or street sweepin'
Lack that necessary cool mystique
Nowadays we all have rights, fundamental
You can't make me work; you can't be too judgemental
Taxes? Shmaxes! I'm happy to be lax, yes
I spend all my dole on beer

It doesn't matter what they say in the papers
Coz I ain't no slave or mere machine
I'm a slob, layabout
But I can't do without all my DVDs and magazines:
"Big Breasted Barmaids 16"

How about I hook you up with free cable
And some cheap Taiwanese T-shirts?
Please don't say a thing to my Job Advisor
Coz he thinks that my back still hurts
The seven years I spent at the Univers'ty
It made me smarter and for sure, far more thirsty
Amen! Say whendrinkin' Heineken
I spend all my dole on beer

(Instrumental)

What's the reason that I'm not nine-to-fivin'
I've a list longer than your arm
There's no way that I'll be suit-and-tie-in'
I'll get by on my wit and charm
Be responsible? Hey man, you're so funny
It's more likely I'll marry a Playboy Bunny
Got a nice tan, cold can, no plan, understand?
I spend all my dole on beer

Mother always wonders why I've got no money
Coz I spend all my dole on beer!



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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.4
How Funny: 4.6
Overall Rating: 4.6

Total Votes: 14

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   2
 1
 1
 
 3   1
 1
 1
 
 4   0
 0
 1
 
 5   11
 12
 11
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Chuck A. Spear - June 27, 2005 - Report this comment
Great stuff! Hre's to government: They produce nothing...just take your money and redistribute it, and take a hefty portion for themselves!
Red Ant - June 27, 2005 - Report this comment
Haven't heard TOS in a while, but this is pretty enlightening ( and funny ) Kristof.
Paul Robinson - June 27, 2005 - Report this comment
Just doled you out three 5's here, you lazy wastrel ~ ~ ~
alvin rhodes - June 27, 2005 - Report this comment
wondrous wordplay...5s
Johnny D - June 27, 2005 - Report this comment
Ironic that former American Presidential Candidate, retired Senator Bob Dole, is a Republican ... but wait a minute ... "Bob" can also mean "to cut", as in "to cut your hair/bob your hair" ... and Republicans like to cut "the dole" ... hmm ... okay, never mind!
AFW - June 27, 2005 - Report this comment
Funny with a capitol F...well worth five doles
Kristof Robertson - June 27, 2005 - Report this comment
Chuck: As long as I get my piece of the pie, dude, I don't care! ;-)
Red Ant: Thanks, compadre
Paul: Stick and stones, man...sticks and stones.;-)
Alvin: Cheers, Mr. R!
J.D: Wha?...I repeat...wha? ;-)
AFW: Fanks!
Paul Robinson - June 27, 2005 - Report this comment
Kristof - I was thinking more along the lines of "It takes one to know one" ~ ~ ~
Michael Pacholek - June 27, 2005 - Report this comment
Not crazy about the politics, but the song is a five.
Kristof Robertson - June 27, 2005 - Report this comment
Paul: I guess you're right there, buddy!

Michael: It wasn't meant to represent any political viewpoint, more a summary of the state of play of the social welfare system, particularly in the UK...
Michael Pacholek - June 27, 2005 - Report this comment
Well, in America, before Prohibition was completely repealed in 1933, the government allowed the sale of "near-beer" that was just 3.2 percent alcohol. They could have sung, "Should 3.2 appear too small, be thankful I don't take it all." But George Harrison wouldn't be born for another nine years, give or take a few weeks.
Stuart McArthur - June 29, 2005 - Report this comment
It's alright if "Big Breasted Barmaids 16" is the first one you've read, but after reading the first 15, I found #16 a bit of an anticlimax - the dole here is a real option, as I'm sure you remember, Kristof, one that and many people take - great job! - 555
Troy - June 29, 2005 - Report this comment
Hahahahahaha, that parody is bloody awsome mate!!! Given you all 5s!!! Check out my "Dole Bludgin' Man" parody of Barnesy's "Working Class Man" on this page http://www.amiright.com/parody/80s/jimmybarnes2.shtml .

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