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Song Parodies -> "Anakin"

Original Song Title:

"Piano Man"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Billy Joel

Parody Song Title:

"Anakin"

Parody Written by:

Offender

The Lyrics

This is, of course, my review for a specific movie that came out recently. In fact, I did think it was pretty good, especially in comparison to what came before, and all of the other movies currently out. Still, are we all sick of George Lucas and his big ego, or what? Warning: some mild spoilers ahead...
It's a darker time down on Coruscant.
The former queen Padme shuffles in
Well, we know that Annie married her:
For a Jedi, that's living in sin.

She says, "Anakin, you've impregnated me."
And we all know how that process goes!
But let's not be obscene; that all happens off-screen;
At least here, they keep on their clothes.

La la la diddy da... la la diddy da... da da....

Keep on your clothes for us, Anakin.
That's one thing you've done right,
'Cause we're not in the mood for obscenity;
Or seeing your bare butt tonight.

Now, Lord Palpatine is the Emperor,
Who hams up his lines for free:
Though they sound like a joke, 'cause they're so filled with hoke,
Still, I think he gives good villainy.

He says "Annie, Mace Windu is killing me!"
As the lightning is twisting his face;
Why does Annie kill for him so readily
If he feels so bad for killing Mace?

Oh, la la la diddy da... la la diddy da... da da....

Kenobi's a rather poor moralist,
Though he always talked a good game.
His thinking is hazy, his dialogue's crazy;
The writer's the one who's to blame.

'Cause George Lucas is preaching his politics:
That's why they all talk as if they're stoned.
He says only bad guys deal in absolutes,
But he's dealing out some of his own.

Sober up, Lucas! You're slipping, man!
Dump your mushrooms tonight;
'Cause we're not in the mood for your politics,
So spare us the lectures, and write!

It's a pretty good end for the trilogy,
And the best summer film in a while.
Though it's not exactly what I'd hoped I would see,
It beats "Interpreter" by a mile.

Now the Jedi temple's a charnel house,
And the younglings are cringing in fear!
While that green Yoda guy takes off into the sky,
Is that E.T.'s soundtrack that I hear?

Oh, la la la diddy da... la la diddy da... da da....

Put a black helmet on Anakin
While Padme dies tonight...
Well, I guess that will do for a tragedy,
But let's hope Lucas learns how to write!
One review of the film with which I hearitily agree: Orson Scott CardAnd another: Debra Saunders

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 LittleLots
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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 4.9
Overall Rating: 4.9

Total Votes: 10

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   1
 1
 1
 
 5   9
 9
 9
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Scrawny Johnny - May 23, 2005 - Report this comment
I saw Episode III twice (kinda by accident...the second time it happened, I really wanted to go see Sin City again). This is an awesome parody! I like the little witty lines you throw in there (like the one about "Interpreter"). Details like that make parodies much more enjoyable!
... - May 23, 2005 - Report this comment
I came home from the movie wishing I had a parody to read right then and there.
Agrimorfee - May 24, 2005 - Report this comment
Offender, you went out of your usual style with this one. And the farce *is* with you! Excellent song, Weird Al could have written this!555
Jeff Hingle - May 24, 2005 - Report this comment
Great job, Offender! I also wrote a Billy Joel Star Wars parody, although mine was written before I saw Episode III (which is made evident in the song parody): http://www.amiright.com/parody/70s/billyjoel169.shtml
Offender - May 26, 2005 - Report this comment
My "usual style?" What's that?
Michael Pacholek - May 26, 2005 - Report this comment
Most of this was five-worthy, but I had to dock you a point. Lucas is half-right: There are moral absolutes, but the ones who speak the most about absolutes are those who have the least heft to do so. "So, this is how liberty ends: With thunderous applause." With that line, Padme superbly shows how "the Grand Army of the Republic" (which was also the official name of the Union army of the American Civil War) becomes the SS. Of course, we now know Padme was using the Force-aided brainpower of three people at the time.
Inferno714 - May 30, 2005 - Report this comment
Excellent, dude! Saw the movie, it follows really well with it. I especially liked the part about Anakin impregnating Padme and Anakin killing Windu. 5-5-5!
Johnny D - May 31, 2005 - Report this comment
Excellent parody here, Offender, very well-written.

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