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Song Parodies -> "Granny, Man"

Original Song Title:

"Piano Man"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Billy Joel

Parody Song Title:

"Granny, Man"

Parody Written by:

Phil Alexander

The Lyrics

This one is to all those guys who've been coerced into helping their aged grandmother when they'd much rather be watching television...
It's nine o'clock on a saturday
The regular show's on TV
There's my old mum sitting next to me
Askin' just how much help can I be?

She says, son, can you go help your grandmother
Please do not just sit there and grouse
But she's older than you, and she has lots to do
'Cause tomorrow she's gonna move house

Blah blah, naggy-nag, blah blah, naggy-nag
Blah blah, naggy-nag, nag nag

Chorus:
"Lend her a hand, she's your granny, man
Lend her a hand tonight
And you know you'll feel good just for helping her"
Oh, it's like moral blackmail alright

Now John is my bro, and a friend of mine
But he's much lazier than me
He saw what's goin' on, before me: now he's gone
It's anyplace else that he'll be

He says, Phil, helping out would be killing me
As the smile ran away from his face
Well, I just couldn't schlepp it, though Granny's decrepit
I've gotta get out of this place

Blah blah, naggy-nag, blah blah, naggy-nag
Blah blah, naggy-nag, nag nag

Now Dad is a real male chauvanist
Who never has time for his wife
And him helping his poor, aged mother-in-law
Just ain't gonna happen this life

And I'm practising domestic politics
So Granny's not packing alone
And I'm wringing from mom some incentives
And it's like getting blood from a stone

Chorus

It's pretty good TV for Saturday
Gil Grissom is on CSI
And mum knows that it's he that I tune in to see
To forget about life for a while

But mum goes on and on like a gramophone
With a needle that's stuck in the track
So I sigh "I'll be gone, once the video's on
And I'll watch all the rest when I'm back"

Blah blah, naggy-nag
Blah, naggy-nag, nag nag

Final chorus:
"OK, I'll help out, she's my granny, mam
I'll give her a hand tonight
And you say I'll feel good, so won't you tell me:
What makes moral blackmail alright?"
(Be thankful that this is the way that it is: my original schema for this title was definite Whatfreaks material, with an ewww factor of 199%. I'll leave you to work it out...)

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.5
How Funny: 4.4
Overall Rating: 4.4

Total Votes: 14

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 1
 1
 
 2   0
 1
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 1
 
 4   3
 2
 3
 
 5   10
 10
 9
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Adagio - December 09, 2004 - Report this comment
I particularly liked the schlepp it/decrepit ryhme. It was all good! 5's
John Barry - December 09, 2004 - Report this comment
This deserves a Granny Award.
alvin rhodes - December 09, 2004 - Report this comment
well paced and clever..liked it a lot..5s
Jeff Reuben - December 09, 2004 - Report this comment
Granny and the TV: The Old, and The Beautiful here.
Steven Cavanagh - December 09, 2004 - Report this comment
I liked the "aint gonna happen this life". 5 big whiskery kisses from Granny.
WW89 - December 09, 2004 - Report this comment
Lol, I love that song, being able to actually play it on piano and harmonica, but I hate how Piano is three syllables. That always screws me up. I love the blahblahblahnaggynagnag too.
Stuart McArthur - December 09, 2004 - Report this comment
that's the kind of parody I love, Phil - conversational, moves in a direction, and darts seamlessly in and out of the original lyrics - good one! - 555
Phil Alexander - December 10, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks all..
John B - Groan Steve - "Don't slip her your tongue, she's your granny, man"
WW89 - feel free to play this version, if you like :-)
Stuart - I like this kind of parody, too...
Meriadoc - December 11, 2004 - Report this comment
Excellent job, Phil!
Tim Mayfield - December 12, 2004 - Report this comment
Phil, Love this one!
Johnny D - January 01, 2005 - Report this comment
"Fanny, Man" ? ;-)
MaWard - July 20, 2005 - Report this comment
Parodies have to be clever as well as funny This one is Very High IQ Loved it!!

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