Saturday night and your still just pigging out
You eat all of your chips and you drink your stout
Your stomach says no more, but your mind just shouts, 'nother gyro

So you just ponder the next food your eat
Maybe it should be pretzels, or maybe some meat
Then you remember the food you can't beat, and you smile

Cause Cracker Jacks give you the prize tonight
Like decoder rings and more nonsense
Cracker Jacks give you some junk tonight
Like fake tattoos that are not reliant
Oh yeah, yeah

The pop corn ran out, pizza is late
You play game boy, and you sit and wait
The door bell's gunna ring soon, and you set your plate,
for that pie

So you play Grand Theft auto, and you stain all your clothes
So you slip on slippers to cover your freezing toes
And you try to be just the average Joe, it's a lie

Cause Cracker Jacks give you the prize tonight
Like decoder rings and more nonsense
Cracker Jacks give you some junk tonight
Like fake tattoos that are not reliant
Oh yeah, yeah

So you decide to watch some good TV
You watch some Nickelodeon, and MSG
But eventually you get up to pee, lock the door

You get board, so you invite some friends
But they are doing something that they can't end
Again you get a hunger that you need to mend,
you need more

Cause Cracker Jacks give you the prize tonight
Like decoder rings and more nonsense
Cracker Jacks give you some junk tonight
Like fake tattoos that are not reliant
la da da
Oh yeah, yeah

You go on the internet and search for porn
And you download some music, just not Korn
And your goldfish just died, so you begin to mourn
he was young

Now you can't understand just why violets are all blue
Why your beer makes you drunk, and your pot smells too
And why that little dog and that sailor stare at you,
that's just weird stuff

Cause Cracker Jacks give you the prize tonight
Like decoder rings and more nonsense
Cracker Jacks give you some junk tonight
Like fake tattoos that are not reliant
Cracker Jacks give you the prize tonight
Cracker Jacks give you the prize tonight