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Song Parodies -> "Always this Good Guy Bum"

Original Song Title:

"Only the Good Die Young"

Original Performer:

Billy Joel

Parody Song Title:

"Always this Good Guy Bum"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

The story of an evil henchman who just couldn't take it anymore.
We're hired henchmen, all in a crew
We only do one thing: that's kung fu
Oh, and our evil leader has big things to do
He makes evil look so fun

But there's a singular hero, saving the day
He's clean-cut and shaven, the ladies, they sway
Oh, and we've gotta fight him and send him away
But we all forgot our guns

Always this good guy bum
Now we're all dead
Always this good guy bum
Always this good guy bum

You mighta heard of him, he's a really big star
He owns four houses and six nice cars
So though his acting is just sub-par
Oh, his wallet still weighs a ton

So come on, big spender, don't forget lines
Do your own stunts for all those dollar signs
And we must lose to this loser who whines
In real fights, he'd prob-ly run

Always this good guy bum
Woah woah woah, woah-ah woah woah woah
I tell ya,
Good guys are just so dumb
Always this good guy bum

He's got a pony-tail and he wins in ev'ry confrontation
We attack one by one
As the cameras run
Oh, I tell ya getting beaten this way is such degradation
We shouldn't have to wait
Instead of one, attack in groups of eight

He thinks he's a hero, and he should get bent
(He's) got four nice houses, I still gotta rent
Collects his own action-figures, ten-thousands he's spent
So last night I kicked his bum

I started schoolin' good guy bum
Ha ha ha, yeah-yeah
I started kicking his raw-hide numb
After I downed some rum

(The scramblin' movie-star beat-up scene solo)

Oh, next morning when I woke up I was inside of a police station
The bruise he got from me
Well, all it did was draw publicity
Oh, woah woah

It's out, it's out, it's out, the movie with fighting tricks
The one I was in joins the action flicks
I'll get to see it when I get out in six
Until then I'll hate that bum

You know it's
Always that good guy bum
Drivin' me crazy
You know it's
Always that good guy bum
Always that good guy bum

Always some buuuuuu-uuuuum
Always some good guy bum

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 9

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   1
 4   0
 5   8

User Comments

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Ashkicksass - October 13, 2004 - Report this comment
LOL, very clever Sir 2nz!
Kristof Robertson - October 13, 2004 - Report this comment
POW! BIFF! SNORK! KABLOOY! Well done, 2nz 555
Johnny D - October 13, 2004 - Report this comment
Always the Joel drives drunk.
Michael Pacholek - October 13, 2004 - Report this comment
When you got to the part about the ponytail, I figured this was about Steven Seagal. That took this from a 3 to a 5 real fast.
Dee Range - October 13, 2004 - Report this comment
Good comments about Segal. But he really is a Martial Arts expert, or so I have heard. 555
Stuart McArthur - October 13, 2004 - Report this comment
henchmen have always intrigued do the villains in those James Bond movies manage to recruit hundreds of uniformed henchmen just to do evil??? what are they thinking??....555
2nz - October 13, 2004 - Report this comment
Thank you much, Miss Kicksass, Mr. Robertson, Mr. D, Mr. P, Mr. Dee and Mr. MC. Got evil?
Claude Prez - October 13, 2004 - Report this comment
Always love the way they take turns getting their asses kicked. Very good.

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