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Song Parodies -> "How Can You Steer These Shopping Carts?"

Original Song Title:

"How Can You Mend a Broken Heart?"

Original Performer:

Bee Gees

Parody Song Title:

"How Can You Steer These Shopping Carts?"

Parody Written by:

Merry & Pippin

The Lyrics

I can think just yesterday when shopping for my wife
Was everything this man was told to do
I would rather steal or borrow
Than do this all again this time tomorrow

And how can you steer these shopping carts?
How can you stop those cans from falling down?
How can I stop my son from whining?
Why won't the wheels go round?
How can I mend this broken ham?
How did I drop it on my shin?
Please save me from these shopping carts
With vibrative front ends!

I can swear aisles do tease - just tell me why oh please
The products migrated from day to day?
Stand in line and read the Star - oh!
'Elvis in a Ford with ol' Vic Morrow!'

And how can you steer these shopping carts?
How can you stop these grapes from turning brown?
How can you stop the clerk opining
'Bout sales on old ground round?

Why don't they stock my fav'rite brand?
Will all my ice-cream melt again?
I'm stuck here with these shopping carts -
I've missed the game again
I'm stuck here with these shopping carts -
She's home watching Roseanne.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 4

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   4
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User Comments

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Royce Miller - August 05, 2003 - Report this comment
You two keep proving why two heads are better than one--your stuff is great
Billy Florio - August 05, 2003 - Report this comment
Pretty good
Pat - August 05, 2003 - Report this comment
Hehe....I could visualize those shopping carts. :D Good work!
John Jenkins - August 05, 2003 - Report this comment
Good line about standing in line and reading a tabloid.
Michael Pacholek - August 05, 2003 - Report this comment
Great job. Royce, don't say they have two heads, they've messed with Malcolm's mind enough as it is..."shopping for my wife"?
malcolm higgins - August 05, 2003 - Report this comment
why don't we steer the shopping cart of identities to the forefront again, and admit what we are mer and pip?
wdh - August 05, 2003 - Report this comment
Let's see....'shopping for my wife' indicates a 90% chance of maleness, but that doesnt say which is which.... Anyway, great job guys! Straight 5s
Meriadoc - August 05, 2003 - Report this comment
Let's see - 7 comments and only 4 votes (plus mine) - everybody is too busy figuring out who/waht we are to vote... :-P
Robert J. Pagliaro - August 05, 2003 - Report this comment
All right, another comment, another vote - good job
Wild Man - August 05, 2003 - Report this comment
Hum, Toronto & funny humor out of otherwise mondane subject. Could it be Mike Myers? Any way 5-5-5 Chalupas That Bio thing has my wheels turning.
Wild Man - August 05, 2003 - Report this comment
Ok . Mer &Pip. Did a little research And I think I've got the bio thing figured it out. Ya had me fooled!
Peregrin - August 05, 2003 - Report this comment
Muwahahaha! You all think too much! Wife rhymes with Life from the original - anything else is pure conjecture! (Or is it....?)
Guy DiRito - August 05, 2003 - Report this comment
You're all wrong. They are conjoined twins. Right? Hey sir and or madam - What a great line: Stand in line and read the Star - oh! 'Elvis in a Ford with olí Vic Morrow!' This is timeless! This alone get 5's - Maybe I'll crack the site and give you folks a 6. Loved it.
Meriadoc - August 05, 2003 - Report this comment
Whoo hoo! The Star/Elvis/Morrow line was mine - I am thrilled and pleased! Thanks all. (Pip usually gets all the best lines... :-P )
mandamoo - August 06, 2003 - Report this comment
Don't care who they are..... just keep 'em coming ! Brilliant !!
Wild Man - August 06, 2003 - Report this comment
Yes PiP, we all think too much, but you have to admit you planted the seed in your Biography Intro. I really don't care about the real answer because it dosen't compromise your talents. You two have a great gift and your share that gift with us through your humor. I just gotta tell ya Thanks ! Yes, maybe we take ourselves much too seriously !
Peregrin - August 06, 2003 - Report this comment
Wild Man, yeah, I know! We encourage it! Thank you for your generous comments ;-)
Meriadoc - August 07, 2003 - Report this comment
Malcolm, the shopping cart of identities has wobbly wheels.... ;-)
LynC - August 11, 2003 - Report this comment
Excellent!! It takes me back to yesterday, but seriously it was yesterday.
Poison Girl - August 19, 2003 - Report this comment
"How can I mend this broken ham? How did I drop it on my shin?" Bwahahahahaha! The visuals I get from this one is entertaining to say the least! Great job guys er girls er..... :D
Leo Jay - June 14, 2004 - Report this comment
Great stuff as always.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - June 15, 2004 - Report this comment
Nice job, I found the rhyming in 'aisles do tease/ why oh please' worthy of kudos and I guess this is a heartfelt tale of how hard it is pushing a shopping trolley when your two heads keep arguing which way to go. ;) 5-4-4
wdh - June 15, 2004 - Report this comment
Genious(dunno if I spelled that right, so apparently I'm not one)
Spaff.com - June 16, 2004 - Report this comment
Isn't there a grocery store chain called something like "M&P"? If not, there oughtta be. You're a reliable distributor of quality items. My fave bits were the ham and the grapes.
Meriadoc - June 17, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks all! Spaff, that was A&P.... :-)
Jeff Reuben - June 20, 2004 - Report this comment
Pretty funny, wouldn't have come up with this idea, yet I live through it once a week!

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