On the news they got a warning
Pigs you should be ignoring
With this new “Swine Flu” you’ll feel shitty
If you go cook up some sausage
Then you’ll find you need a lozenge
And the doctor will sing you this ditty

So please don’t touch that swine
At the petting zoo this time
You’ll need a tissue box when boogers spray
So as long as you avoid
All that ham that you’ve enjoyed
You’ll be healthy and your skin won’t turn gray

Because that bacon brought my sickness… At buffets
Bacon brought my sickness… I’m dismayed
Ate some bacon and I’m sick, yes… It’s a crime
Bacon brought my sickness… I ain’t feeling sublime

Pig Snout!

At first you shouldn’t eat chicken
Or you’ll become Bird Flu stricken
It was due to the pigeons and sparrows
Then there was Mad Cow Disease
In the beef caused us grief
You might as well shoot me with an arrow

All the farmers on the farm
Are getting so alarmed
It’s with their critters how they get paid
But their profits were destroyed
And now they are all annoyed
Since Porky Pig made people afraid

Because that bacon brought my sickness… Yes indeed
Bacon brought my sickness… Doc agreed
Miss Piggy gave me an illness… Yeah, That’s right
Though her pork was delicious I’m bent over in spite

Oink!!!
Don’t bite!
Oink!!!

Pork Rinds ain’t… Too nutritious
With one taste health’s erased… Achoo!

Make sure jerky that you’re jerking
Isn't that flu bug lurking
Or it might turn you into a sicky
Even if it’s ribs you’re lovin'
Don’t put them into your oven
And do not stuff your face like a piggy

Cause if it’s roast you like
Then don’t join them on their strike
But you’re sure enough to find your grave
In that barn in Illinois
There are pigs that show no poise
Lying in bed but they’re tissue depraved

I thought “Swine Flu” was fictitious… I was wrong
From the sows down to the piglets… All the hogs
These poor critters caught the virus… Sickly swine
More sick than Miley Cyrus who’s on stage every night

Bacon brought my sickness (Sneeze!)
Bacon brought my sickness
Bacon brought my sickness (Cough!)
Bacon brought my sickness

Pulled pork looks suspicious… In that bun
Am I superstitious? Gave me runs
Pig feet got for Christmas… Baked with thyme
Pig farm on the isthmus sells cheaper saves me dimes (Cash!)

Nose runs with a quickness
Eating some French Rillettes
Eating bacon brought my sickness
Frying bacon brought my sickness

Bacon brought my sickness
Bacon gave an illness
Bacon left a virus