i sat upon a park bench
to pass the time away
i saw a man come runnin' at me
he looked haunted and dismayed
he said, "you're zany, bub...you're nuts, cousin...
you should watch out where ya sit...hmm...hmm"
then he looked at me with big bulgin' eyes
and said...

"the paint you sat on's wet
b-b-b-buddy...yeah, the paint you sat on's wet
its something that's just as moist as it can get
b-b-b-buddy...yeah, the paint you sat on's wet

and now you've spread it all around"

and now i'm feeling splattered
i splotched my pants for sure
they were my favorite dockers
its just too much to endure
guess i could give my duds a good scrubbin'
but i think the things are wrecked
yeah, i think the things are wrecked
then he looked again with those bulgin' eyes
and said...

"the paint you sat on's wet
b-b-b-buddy...yeah, the paint you sat on's wet
its something that's just as moist as it can get
b-b-b-buddy...yeah, the paint you sat on's wet"

this is an aberration...golly, i'm a fool !

i know the paint i sat on's wet
i know the paint i sat on's wet
don't need no one to tell me
i know...i know....the paint i sat on's wet
yeah...the paint i sat on's wet
yuck...the paint i sat on's wet