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Song Parodies -> "Traffic's Really Stupid"

Original Song Title:

"Takin' Care of Business"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Bachman-Turner Overdrive

Parody Song Title:

"Traffic's Really Stupid"

Parody Written by:

Dylan Baranski

The Lyrics

A few months ago, I finally got my driver's license! It wasn't because I kept failing the test, but because my parents didn't have enough time to practice with me that often. Anyways, I enjoy driving, and I'm a good driver and do my best to respect the other drivers on the road and obey the law and all that groovy stuff, but there are some instances when the other drivers get to me. Especially considering I live in Rhode Island, where drivers tend to employ some...ahem..."creative" maneuvers (ask ChuckyG about it, Massachusetts drivers have similar behavior). Combine this with the increased traffic flow during the holiday season, and...well, you do the math. However, since taking this problem into my own hands is morally deficient, I decided to write a song parody about it. I'm sure you'll all agree with me. Anyways, enjoy the parody.
I get up every morning
From my alarm clock’s warning,
Get ready & fire up my Buick.*

I go heading off for school,
Drivin’ safely, actin’ cool,
Every day, it’s the same old rhetoric.

I try to obey the law,
Though I start to lose my straws
If someone behind me wants to go faster.

Sometimes, I get real annoyed,
And wish that methods were employed
To sort out all those other bastards.

And I think traffic’s really stupid
On some days.
Traffic’s really stupid
In some ways.
I think traffic’s really stupid
Gets me pissed.
Traffic’s really stupid
Especially near Christmas.
(Move it!)

If it weren’t at times congested,
Then my patience wouldn’t be tested,
I wouldn’t wish for a machine gun.

I just want a bigger car,
On the road, I’ll be the czar,
And no one else will dare to ruin my fun.

If my car could drop land mines,
Then everything will be fine,
And none behind me will want to go faster.

But there’s traffic to avoid,
So some shortcuts I’ll employ,
And I’ll miss all those other bastards.

And I think traffic’s really stupid
On some days.
Traffic’s really stupid
In some ways.
I think traffic’s really stupid
Gets me pissed.
Traffic’s really stupid
Especially near Christmas.

(guitar solo)

(Honk! Honk! What’s your problem, man!?)


Spoken: Traffic is really stupid!
So astray on some days!
Jeez!


I get home at 3:50
Avoiding people that are shifty,
I shut off and get out of my Buick.

I’ve come heading home for school,
Drivin’ safely, actin’ cool,
And I survived the same old rhetoric.

I try to obey the law,
Though I start to lose my straws
If someone behind me wants to go faster.

Sometimes, I get real annoyed,
And wish that methods were employed
To sort out all those other bastards.

And I think traffic’s really stupid
On some days.
Traffic’s really stupid
In some ways.
I think traffic’s really stupid
Gets me pissed.
Traffic’s really stupid
Especially near Christmas.
(Move it!)

Traffic’s really stupid!
Traffic’s really stupid!
Traffic’s really stupid!
Traffic’s really stupid!

And I think traffic’s really stupid
On some days.
Traffic’s really stupid
In some ways.
I think traffic’s really stupid
Gets me pissed.
Traffic’s really stupid
Especially near Christmas.
(Yeah!)

Traffic’s really stupid!
Traffic’s really stupid!
I think traffic’s really stupid
I think traffic’s really stupid

Traffic’s really stupid!
Traffic’s really stupid…
*-My car is a tan '91 Buick Century. Actually, it's a temporary car that I share with my brother Jesse, until my dad gets our real cars fixed. I normally have a blue '93 Ford Crown Victoria LX, and Jesse has a black '89 Jeep Cherokee.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 3.0
How Funny: 4.0
Overall Rating: 3.0

Total Votes: 1

Voting Breakdown

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User Comments

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Grampa - December 13, 2007 - Report this comment
Been there, been doing that for over sixty years. I know what your talking about.
Grampa - December 13, 2007 - Report this comment
If you think Ma and RI drivers are bad you should drive in Siagon. They learned from the French. I don't think their vehicles have brakes, or at least they haven't found the break peddle. They drive with two controls: gas peddle and horn button. You should see the traffic flow at a busy intersection that doesn't have a stop sign, stop light, or someone directing traffic.
Joe Haynes - December 13, 2007 - Report this comment
Been living with this in Florida for years. Good job!!

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