Turned on the TV for my kids
Then I ran and I hid
'Cause they were watchin' that dinosaur
He was talkin' about love
About kindness, about hugs
And I couldn't take it anymore

In desperation, I talked
To the parents on my block
And decided what we should do
We didn't want the purple dude
Gropin' kids and bein' leud
So we headed up to Channel 2

CHORUS:
(Where we were takin' care of Barney) All the day
(Takin' care of Barney) Every way
(Takin' care of Barney) Kicked his butt
(Takin' care of Barney) Punched him in the gut

First we handed Baby Bop
And B.J. to the cops
Who gave 'em 25 to life
We smacked their purple friend
Told him this would be the end
Then he snapped and pulled out a knife

I kicked it out of his hand
Held it to his throat and
Said "Now we'll sing 'I Love You'!"
Just before things went too far
We were caught by the guards
From the sets of Channel 2

CHORUS

Now we're all sittin' jail
15 years without bail
And Barney's still on the air
We say sorry to our kids
Try explainin' what we did
But none of them really care

I wish that I was dreaming
Never heard this much screaming
Since I bought Led Zeppelin II
I don't know what we were thinking
We must have been drinking
When we headed up to Channel 2

CHORUS (x2)