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Song Parodies -> "Where'd I Hide The Gin? (version 1)"

Original Song Title:

"Where Do I Begin? (Theme From 'Love Story')"

Original Performer:

Andy Williams

Parody Song Title:

"Where'd I Hide The Gin? (version 1)"

Parody Written by:

Fiddlegirl and Tommy Turtle

The Lyrics

(Please see today's companion post, "Where'd *You* Hide The Gin?, version A.) FG's comment here gave us the idea for each to do that spin on OS, but completely independently through a first full draft. After comparing (and enjoying) the results, we decided to return to the usual: tweak each other's drafts and post as a collab -- on *both* versions. Can you guess which was whose initially?

Where'd I hide the gin?
The drinks, I'm pouring, and all straight up, but can't see --
The gin, vermouth; no doubt, in oven! Might I be --
Four sheets or more to wind? Cup holder, carefully --
-- To fill, I start

Where'd the cursed stuff go?
In dark, I'm feeling: just a half-swirled jug of wine
They're pi**ed at *me*; go back to store, another time
One dame's already hurled; the rest are drunk half-blind
At liquor mart --

-- I've filled a cart
With alcoholic things to please the throngs
Some Wild Turkey™, brings, to fill your hole
Till had enough
But brandy? Where'd it go?
Your hosts must stoned, be
I'd pour it strong
If one had shown me
The place where it stands
It isn't there

How long will it last?
If shots are measured: whiskey sours, night and day
Madam and Man, Sir, how much you two put away
They gnaw; we feed them; bill is ours for fine buffet
The swill is there

[Interlude as guests get even more plastered]

Appetites so vast
With lime, our treasured booze, in showers, do they spray
One broad so s**t-faced: naked table-dance display
Though we've succeeded; closed is bar; so, on their way...
A fine affair!

[fade, echo]
A party, rare!

© 2010 Fiddlegirl and Tommy Turtle. All rights reserved. E-mail:

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 4.6
Overall Rating: 4.7

Total Votes: 9

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   1
 5   8

User Comments

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Mark Scotti - February 11, 2010 - Report this comment
Can never get on that wagon, can you? Well, I'm on it, FOR 555 LAUGHS!!
Old Man Ribber - February 11, 2010 - Report this comment
Welcome to A.A. - Amiwriters Anonymous. Let me enroll you in our 555 step rehab program. ;D
Andria - February 11, 2010 - Report this comment
Great job. As I said on the other parody, I want to drink alcohol now, but shouldn't take in the spirits at 8am. 555 proof, and you're both getting AA, that is, this parody was Appealing to Andria, and I'm not suggesting that you sit in a circle with a bunch of drunks talking BS, eating stale donuts, drinking bad coffee, and inhaling secondhand smoke. (a typical AA meeting) ;-)
2Eagle - February 11, 2010 - Report this comment
Since the creator of the story the movie was based on died recently this should be a tribute to him.
Andy Primus - February 11, 2010 - Report this comment
LOL @ table-dance display line
3/5ths, er, 3 'Fifths' In The Bag - February 11, 2010 - Report this comment
A buzz-worthy parody at any price! Favorite couplet: "With lime, our treasured booze, in showers, do they spray One broad so s**t-faced: naked table-dance display..."
Fiddlegirl - February 11, 2010 - Report this comment
Mark Scotti: Just have the driver let us off at the next pub, shall we?

OMR: Ha! I think I actually may need that... ;)

Andria: That would be enough to make one *start* drinking! (and lol @ new "AA" abbreviation)

2Eagle: Good idea. Bottoms up! ;)

Andy P: Not that we know anything about it *personally*... but we've heard stories. ;)

3/5's: That seems to have caught the attention of more than one of you gents...! ;) And, yes, this *was* TTease... ;)
Warren "the Shaker" Baker - February 11, 2010 - Report this comment
Lovely thing, gin. A personal favorite was the brand Boodles, but ever since the incident with the mime and the fire hydrant, I've sworn off the stuff.
Phil Nelson - February 11, 2010 - Report this comment
Love means never having to say you're sober. 5's
Tommy Turtle - February 11, 2010 - Report this comment
Pouring a "double shot" of thanks to Mark Scotti, Old Man Ribber, Andria, 2Segal (he heh!), Andy Prime-us-with-a-drink-please, and 60%-stoned!

Warren "the Shaker" Baker: Thanks, from Tommy "The Stirrer (Up Of Trouble) Turtle!

Phil Nelson: LOL! Indeed! .. come to think of it, if no one drank, would so many people get married? Just saying ....
Christie Marie M - February 12, 2010 - Report this comment
Feeling drunk with hilarity over your parody and I so very much enjoyed the first part (A) that both of you wrote. Heck, I've enjoyed both versions so it doesn't matter who initially wrote it! Toasting you 555 goblets of gin with this one! One of my fave classic OS from Andy Williams. Have a nice Valentine's Day!
Tommy Turtle - February 13, 2010 - Report this comment
Christie Marie M: "Hilarity over your parody" -- nice one! Toast and Happy V-Day to you too!

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