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Song Parodies -> "Don't Tight-Hole Me, Angelina"

Original Song Title:

"Don't Cry For Me, Argentina"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Andrew Lloyd Webber & Tim Rice

Parody Song Title:

"Don't Tight-Hole Me, Angelina"

Parody Written by:

Spaff.com

The Lyrics

I'm not that easy
I'm not THAT strange
Though I dumped Jen for you, Ms. Jolie
I did not quite expect - I'd end up in these binds

Though I did Fight Club
That was an act - getting smacked black and blue
But YOU'RE mistressed up to the nines
In six-inch or seven-inch boots

I fear what's gonna happen
Here in this cage
There's a pit in the Pitt of my ME
Babe you're out of this world but - are you out of your mind?!

Though I told Newsweek
That I enjoy - this liaison with you
And I could be tied down again...
I never expected you to!

Don't back-door me, Angelina
The truth is I'd never let you
Though you've got bullwhips
And cuffs that snap on
I've used my safe word
Don't use your strap-on

And as for torture
And as for pain
I've never been thrilled with that stuff
Though you swore you would put - color back in my cheeks
They are contusions!
I might need transfusions - do you stock Type B?
I promise I'm vir-ile enough
Please don't put more MAN into me!

Don't back-door me, Angelina...

Don't tight-hole me, Angelina
The truth is I can't prevent you
Though you like large toys
And always pack one
I'll use my last wish:
Don't use the black one

Have I begged too much?
I'll shut my yap if it means I'll be spared by you
But all I have to do - is hear that buzz
To know what Billy Bob went through

Don't call me James, Angelina
(c) 2006+ Spaffita!

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 13

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
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 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   1
 1
 1
 
 4   0
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 5   12
 12
 12
 

User Comments

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Johnny D - March 01, 2006 - Report this comment
Well, of course. Heh. And heh. And even heh-heh. And don't forget the fives.
John Barry - March 01, 2006 - Report this comment
Best yet. 5-5-5
Cat - March 01, 2006 - Report this comment
Brilliant as usual, Spaff. Though I have to admit, I don't get the last line about "Don't call me James"...explanation please? Or would you have to go on Whatfreaks to do that?
Stephen Harrington - March 01, 2006 - Report this comment
OMFG, oh so funny, brilliant. 555
Stuart McArthur - March 01, 2006 - Report this comment
absolutely brilliant, Spaff - ingeniusest parts: the six-inch/seven-inch sub, the torture/pain subs for fortune/fame, "don't put more MAN into me" and about a dozen runners-up - amazing - how do you always get to this other level? - 555
alvin rhodes - March 01, 2006 - Report this comment
this fits well
Joel Martinez - March 01, 2006 - Report this comment
Better than all the other parodies made for this song,555 (I can only imagine how it would sound if it was recorded, lol)
Matthias - March 01, 2006 - Report this comment
The "snap on", "strap-on" rhyme was brilliant as was the line "There's a pit in the Pitt of my ME"
Arwen - March 01, 2006 - Report this comment
Dammit, Spaff! I'm not supposed to laugh this hard while I'm at work. Nor am I, (a sweet and innocent lady) supposed to "get" stuff like this. I feel all dirty now. And I'm still giggling. Bastard.
Rick C - March 01, 2006 - Report this comment
Seriously funny stuff! Glad you finally finished it. I remember seeing your comment on mine when it posted (as well as Arwen's comment and, your comment on that). What Stu said above too! 555
Rex - March 01, 2006 - Report this comment
And just how do you know all this about Brad & Angie, hmmmmmmm.....???
John Jenkins - March 01, 2006 - Report this comment
I'm glad I didn't give up laughing for Lent. Excellent humor here with Pitt/pit, tied down, do you stock type B, and on and on.
Red Ant - March 01, 2006 - Report this comment
Oh damn, this is great. I don't kow enough about Angelina to get the James reference either, but aside from that I don't have a favorite line (=TMGLTM). 555
Spaff.com - March 02, 2006 - Report this comment
Johnny: With a nickname like "Johnny BD," I knew that this one would be right up your alley. (No euphemism intended.)

Johnglebarry & Joel M: That's a dubious honor. But, as one of my college professors said, all honors are dubious.

Step-child: TYVM.

s2art: Slings and pulleys.

e.e. rhodes: Heh heh!

St Matthias: I'm glad the research paid off.

Sis. Evenstar: Wow, you're right - you DO feel dirty.

Rick the Cornier: I'm sure that Angelina would want to thank you personally for inspiring this flood of tributes. Assume the position.

Wrecks: Not to start any rumors or anything, but they're planning to adopt me.

Johnkins: I'm giving up Lent.

Cat & Red: That last line is such a sick joke that I almost left it out. I think we'd all be better off if I didn't explain it.
Luke Brattoni - March 03, 2006 - Report this comment
Could it be something to do with Philadelphia cheese? Eh? Eh?
Once I know the OS a little better I'll come back to give this gem the indepth probing it requires to truly appreciate.
Larry Hensley - March 05, 2006 - Report this comment
Very interesting, disturbingly funny.
Jack Wilson - March 13, 2006 - Report this comment
Another reason why Spaff is teh awesomeness 555!!!
Spaff.com - April 02, 2006 - Report this comment
Thanx, Hairy Lensley & Local Celebrity!

Ralphing Brat: Philadelphia Cream Cheese? Hmm... no... but that idea certainly has possibilities (depending on where you, um, spread it).
Jack Wilson - November 26, 2006 - Report this comment
Isnt James like her brother that she..ummm....LOL ok I kinda get it now LOL

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