Sometimes late when folks are real hungry,
And wake to fix a quick snack for themselves
Some will fail to check the expiration date
Of food that sits among the shelves

No, I never did squirt nothing down the shit can
Like the dia– diarrhea that I have
And I don’t think hemorrhoid cream will stop this burning
Need some topical anesthetic salve

So please, believe you me
When I sit pushing out brown, brown, brown
Splatters stain the commode
Hear it flushing down, down, down, down
Hope it swallows that load

Oh, I never did poop nothing down the shit can
Like the dia– diarrhea I just had
And food poisoning’s the reason my gut’s heaving
And these colonic cramps that hurt so bad

So please, believe you me
When I sit pushing out brown, brown, brown
Liquid from my bowels
Hear it raining down, down, down, down
With farts that sound like vowels

No, I never did squirt nothing down the shit can
Like this dia– diarrhea I just had
And I chugged a quart of Imodium, it ain’t relieving
This barometric pressure that hurts so bad

So please, believe you me…

Ooooooo, ooooo oooooo
Aaaahhh ooooooo, oooo oooooo…..