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Song Parodies -> "Blitzen's Old And 'Bout To Die"

Original Song Title:

"Sister Golden Hair Surprise"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

America

Parody Song Title:

"Blitzen's Old And 'Bout To Die"

Parody Written by:

renaldo58

The Lyrics

Well they came to tell ol' Santa
Now the holiday is wrecked
Cupid said this isn't banter
Things have really gone unchecked
We aren't even in our halters
But we all agree this time
When a reindeer sure can be way past his prime

Well we've come in here to tell you, Blitzen's old and 'bout to die
His hard living is about to be the reason for demise
He's gone through tons of Coronas, and lots of Marlboro Lights
Now he's gettin' mean, got doo doo for a mind

He's as fit as old warped fiddles
He looks worse than Linda Blair
Needs a chin cup for his spittle
He got dropped from our health care

Well, his brain, he baked it
Liver's decayin', He's just a half wit

(instrumental break)

Well it's not a lie or half truth, Blitzen's old and 'bout to die
Very soon he'll be the same glue, he was sniffing to get high
He'll be one fine craft adherent, and a new reindeer we'll find
Time to carry out the living will he signed

We'll put arsenic in his vittles
Maybe throw him down the stairs
Put him smack dab in the middle
Of two pissed off polar bears

Or his bed, we'll rake it
And throw some hay in, to hide the snake pit

Brew reindeer suet
Brew reindeer suet
Brew reindeer suet

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 LittleLots
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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 5

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   5
 5
 5
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

McKludge - December 20, 2007 - Report this comment
This is fantastic! I loved the line "Very soon he'll be the same glue, he was sniffing to get high" A new Christmas Classic. 555
alvin - December 20, 2007 - Report this comment
many great lines in this....i howled nonstop
Dee Range - December 20, 2007 - Report this comment
This is good enough to have Spaff's or Kristof's name on it. Indeed, if it did, it would have huge vote totals already. One of the funniest I've read in ages.555+++
renaldo - December 20, 2007 - Report this comment
Thanks, McKludge, alvin, & Dee. I hope the ERA (endangered reindeer act) from Rex's parody didn't see this one.
Guy - December 20, 2007 - Report this comment
ABSOLUTELY the BEST I've read all week! The "Glue", The "Polar Bears" "Doo Doo" and "Chin Cup" just for starters. Much better than the AK47 parody. Pace, timing, humor, wit - a perfect blend and mixed to perfection done to an excellent OS. My hat is off to you sir! SOTM material. And to think I almost missed this today. I saw it this morning and got distracted. Something in "latest comments" on this parody caught my eye. Glad I clicked you up. ANYONE READING COMMENTS STOP in your tracks and click here now or miss an instant classic.
renaldo - December 20, 2007 - Report this comment
Guy, many thanks to you sir! A Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you all!

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