i made a call to my attorney
i was lookin' to ditch my wife
i made plans to serve some legal things
we would both remove our rings
i knew that she'd get...half of mine....just because
that's the most that's she's allowed
my wife got hot, and that's no lie
but i dared to stand my ground

life's been truly pleasant, since divorcin' that dame
it felt good to be free of the strain
life's so pleasant...i'm takin' numbers and names
havin' so much fun, since i snuffed my old flame
ha...ha ha...ha ha ha ha...ha ha ha...ha ha
ha...ha ha...ha ha ha ha...ha ha ha...ha ha

after two days, with my freedom won
my wife began to see red
after three days, my old life was done
i had honeys sleepin' in my bed
it was glory , untold, in my single abode
is it bad i wish she were dead ?

you see..
life''s been truly pleasant since divorcin' that dame
it felt good to be free of the strain
life's so pleasant...i'm takin' numbers and names
havin' so much fun, since i snuffed my old flame
ha...ha ha...ha ha ha ha...ha ha ha..ha ha
ha...ha ha...ha ha ha ha...ha ha ha...ha ha

after nine days, i felt completely free
cause my wife had stopped callin' me
i could dance with girls...they're lovely things
i had numbers i could ring
a notion to be present in my ol' stompin' grounds
with a life full of lust, not love
cruisin' the city...just a-foolin' around
and i find i can't get enough

you see..
life''s been truly pleasant since divorcin' that dame
it felt good to be free of the strain
life's so pleasant...i'm takin' numbers and names
havin' so much fun, since i snuffed my old flame
ha...ha ha...ha ha ha ha...ha ha ha..ha ha
ha..ha ha...ha ha ha ha...ha ha ha...ha ha