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Song Parodies -> "Toy's Inn"

Original Song Title:

"Poison"

Original Performer:

Alice Cooper

Parody Song Title:

"Toy's Inn"

Parody Written by:

Blaydeman

The Lyrics

One really sleazy G.I. Joe is looking a toy gal to play with tonight. And where else do sleazy guys take one night stands? A cheap motel. Hence the Toy's Inn was founded.
Verse 1: On leave, last night
Dolls love, G.I.’s
One night, won’t kill
Have fun, sure will

Chorus: Oh c’mon Barbie, just forget about Ken (who’s Ken?)
I want your body, it makes sense cuz I am so hot
I will not miss you, cuz we won’t meet again (again)
I bet your bendy, take those hips to the glamorous Toy’s Inn
The Toy’s Inn always accepts guests
The Toy’s Inn! Where I play with your toy chest

Verse 2: Struck out, who cares?
More dolls, more fair
Found one, new plan
Red head, name’s Ann

Chorus: Throw off your apron and roll down your stockings (stockings)
I’ve always wondered if the “bad thread” matches the yarn
Why aren’t you blinking? Tell me what’s so shocking (shocking)
I’m on a mission, to get you to the fabulous Toy’s Inn
The Toy’s Inn always helps us out
The Toy’s Inn! I hear that Raggedies put out
Toy’s Inn!

Verse 3: Last chance (last chance)
Mercy! (mercy!)
One lewd, Furby!

Chorus: I’m really desp’rate so this Furby will do (will do)
I cannot hold her, cuz her hair is causing a rash
She won’t stop talking, I say S-T-F-U! (F-U!)
I want relations, so I’ll head to the really cheap Toy’s Inn!
The Toy’s Inn’s always got a deal
The Toy’s Inn! That’s really all the appeal
Toy’s Inn!

Chorus: I’m sleeping lonely, I’ve got no one to touch (to touch)
I promise Barbie, that I won’t whine ‘bout your hard butt
No really Annie, that is not too much blush (too much)
I would call Furby, but that voice got banned from the Toy’s Inn
Yeah! Plus last time I ‘bout choked on hair!
Toy’s Inn!

Outro: Better luck at Toys R’ Us
Maybe get some toy on us
Toy’s Inn
And their breakfast is a plus
This one is pretty grimy. No smileys here. July 8, 2013. Please rate and COMMENT!

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 3

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 2   0
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 3   0
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 5   3
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User Comments

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Matthias - July 09, 2013 - Report this comment
Ugh. You have to sink pretty low to get in the sack with Furby. If you want an easy lay as a toy you should probably hook up with a Bratz doll (I mean they already look like prostitutes).
Matthias - July 09, 2013 - Report this comment
Also... Hate to be "that guy" but this is totally an 80s song. Came out it 1989 so it's almost an 90s song that's pretty far from the 70s (although that's Alice Cooper's main era so I can see how you were mistaken) but you have to admit "Poison" has a very 80s sound to it.
Blaydeman - July 10, 2013 - Report this comment
Yeah, that was a mistake I overlooked when submitting it. It was a late night submission LOL! Major apologies Matty.
Abbott Skelding - July 10, 2013 - Report this comment
You may say there is no smileys here, but I disagree...this was incredibly funny! First of all, major kudos to you for coming up with the title/main sub...I would have never come up with "Toy's Inn" to rhyme with poison. And it was a really funny story to boot, great work!
bobpiecheese - July 22, 2013 - Report this comment
(Artistry) The pacing was a bit spotty here and there, but otherwise this was absolutely fantastic! You may have gone for an odd title sub, but you really pulled through. 555!
Max Power - July 23, 2013 - Report this comment
Now that's what you call sex dolls.
Agrimorfee - July 23, 2013 - Report this comment
I was expecting perhaps a sidebar plotline of Toy Story 4 as this started...turned into a bit more than that rather quickly. I am not sure if that would have been funnier as what you did, but this was definitely creepier!

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