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Song Parodies -> "Wee Electric Van"

Original Song Title:

"Free Electric Band"

Original Performer:

Albert Hammond

Parody Song Title:

"Wee Electric Van"

Parody Written by:

Patrick McWilliams

The Lyrics

Politicians who ride in limousines, and eco-freaks who have no idea how real Americans really use their cars, have this bizarre fascination with tiny plug-in electrics, despite, or perhaps because they are unsafe and impractical. Now that Barack Obama has control of a major portion of the United States automobile industry, here's what we might expect to see on the showroom floor in a couple of years.
Obama is a lawyer, he's a political man
When it comes to the real world, he just doesn't understand
And he thinks he'll save America by cleaning up the cars
And he worries that a lot of us are driving way too far
Obama organized himself a seat on GM's board
He then took over Chrysler and he has his eyes on Ford
The Nation's driving habits are his now to command
Soon we'll have to trade our SUV's for a Wee Electric Van

Obama borrowed billions and he spent them mighty fast
On a program, "Cash for Clunkers" that would save a little gas
It would boost the auto market, at least that was one excuse
So he crushed four hundred thousand cars somebody could have used
Dealers waited anxiously for their money to be paid
The Koreans and the Japanese sold everything they made
This was just the first step in a vastly larger plan
To shift away from real cars to the Wee Electric Van

I used to drive a station wagon anywhere I willed
And when the tank was empty it could quickly be refilled
There was room for all the family
Or a table and divan
I can barely squeeze myself into this Wee Electric Van

Despite Obama's efforts the demand is not real large
For a car that travels forty miles on a seven hour charge
You'll give up all convenience and the cost is mighty dear
When a car's designed by bureaucrats instead of engineers
You won't save that much money and imagine being hit
In a Mini or a Smart Car or a bubble Messerschmitt*
You'll need a funeral policy, forget the Health Care Plan
When you drive a tin-toy deathtrap, like the Wee Electric Van

Gonna die, die, die, die, die, die, die in a Wee Electric Van
Gonna die, die, die, die, die, die, die in a Wee Electric Van
(repeat until bored or exhausted)
I haven't heard "Free Electric Band" on Kansas City radio since 1975. A great song. Surprised only a couple other writers have used it on amiright.com. If you are not familiar with it, there are a couple of good concert videos on youtube. * Messerschmitt: a bubble shaped micro car from the 1950's, about the size of a bathtub. A real collector's item.

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 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 3

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   3
 3
 3
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Tommy Turtle - September 29, 2009 - Report this comment
Excellent analysis of yet another waste of tax $ on the Clunkers program, and as for electro-cars: Still uncertainty about the long-term effects of exposure to powerful electromagnetic fields, e. g., living near a power station or major transformer station; being a subway (tube) driver, etc.
< BR>Right problem, probably the wrong solution. Hybrids might be OK, if we don't have to carry around 500 lbs of lead-acid batteries. (Lead is poisonous, and sulfuric acid is hardly any better. Picture an accident, car overturned...) 555+++
TJC - September 29, 2009 - Report this comment
Great stuff with fav line: "When a car's designed by bureaucrats instead of engineers". Change, it seems, must come... not sure though what good it'll do with China and India ramping up fossil fuel usage faster than you can shake a dinosaur bone at! Thanks for yer peek at peak oil!
Andria - September 29, 2009 - Report this comment
I agree with the parody and the above two sentiments. I know of a real "Wee Electric Van", and it is often found on Ebay. I can't remember the brand name, though. On Cash for Clunkers, I briefly thought about turning in my Ford pickup for $4500 toward a new,fuel- efficient car (I was thinking along the lines of a Mini Cooper or a Volkswagen New Beetle), but I decided I didn't want to have a truck with many years of life left in it destroyed and didn't want to feed the Man any more than I already did. Great job on this parody, and I will give you 5s. Props to you for knowing about the Messerschmitt, a friend of my family used to own two of them, a hardtop and a convertible. I was forbidden to ride in them due to my mother's belief that they were death traps.
Patrick - September 30, 2009 - Report this comment
Glad everyone liked the song. The original, in my experience, is a bit of an obscurity. I would change two lines: "It was all a part of Obama's master plan", and "You'll sacrifice convenience..." I've seen statistics that say the cost paid in rebates on new cars far exceeded the value of the oil theoretically saved. My brother and sister are first responders and they have been warned of potential electric hazards should a hybrid be involved in a crash, especially if it has been raining. A firefighter or paramedic could get zapped approaching one of those things. I have also heard a theory that petroleum is actually generated within the earth by a natural catalytic process having nothing to do with dead dinosaurs. Ever wonder how that many dinosaurs managed to expire several thousand feet below the Gulf of Mexico. Just imagine the impact on politics and economics if that theory were finally confirmed. Oh, the morning I posted this song, I ran out of gas on the road. A very good Samaritan gave me a ride to a gas station and I was able to pour a gallon in the tank to get me going. Try that when your electro buggy runs out of juice. Tommy, If there seems to be a pacing glitch in the first line or two, listen to the original. Albert Hammond had a pacing problem in the open line. Also, a lot of the published lyrics, which most sites seem to pick up from each other, are wrong in several places, for this, and a lot of other songs.
Patrick - October 01, 2009 - Report this comment
I looked up the little "Gem". Those cars don't even have doors! Golf carts. If you don't drive far and you can park them over night with a plug-in, and don't drive them on the street, they will do the job. For about the price of a Kia or Hyundai that you can drive anywhere.
Confused Turtle - October 02, 2009 - Report this comment
Huh???

For once, I didn't say anything about pacing glitches; in fact, voted 555+++, which means "Superb all around -- superior to many 555 songs". What did I say that made you think I was b*tching at a glitching? ... truth: DKTOS, but loved the song.
Patrick - October 03, 2009 - Report this comment
I noticed when listening to the original song that Albert Hammond has a couple of problems matching lyrics to melody that made a couple of words hard to understand, especially in the 45 rpm/AM radio days. I tried to duplicate one of those slight miscues in my first line. You can hear the original on youtube. Sort of a typical "hippie" song of its era. My brother always said he liked the melody but didn't care for the message. He was always more sensitive to nuances of lyrics than I am. Personally I prefer instrumental music to vocals except in rare instances. Glad this song got such a favorable reception.

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