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Song Parodies -> "Beam Up"

Original Song Title:

"Dream On"

Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"Beam Up"

Parody Written by:

Claude Prez

The Lyrics

Every time when I'm done captain's loggin
I unwind but I don't do no joggin
Transporter on
It gets me anything I want
Isn't that the way
You can get stuff and you don't have to pay

I know nobody knows
How this thing works so just make it so
I know it's someone else's job
When you're the captain you don't work like some slob

Half the time well I can't turn this thing on
What the hell
I just beamed up a Klingon
And he looks sore
I got some things
How bout some more
Beam gimme
Beam me some beer
Beam Cindy Crawford but not Richard Gere
Beam gimme
A lobster souffle
Maybe tomorrow
We'll beam Ensign Crusher away

Beam gimme
Beam Britney Spears
Beam me a saddle and plugs for my ears
Beam gimme
A topnotch toupee
Maybe tomorrow
We'll beam up Mr. Robert Goulet

Beam up
Beam up
Beam up
Beam yourself a thing or two
Beam up
Beam up
Beam up
Beam yourself a thing or two
Beam up--Beam up--Beam up--Beam up
Beam up--Beam up--Beam up--Aaaaaahhhhhh

Beam gimme
A bowl of fettucini
Beam Deanna Troi and also a bikini
Beam gimme
a case of champagne
Maybe tomorrow
We'll beam me up a load of Rogaine

Beam gimme
Beam me a fiver
Beam me a gun and whoever won "Survivor"
Beam gimme
Beam me a bomb
Maybe tomorrow
We'll beam Barbra Streisand to Guam

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.3
How Funny: 4.2
Overall Rating: 4.2

Total Votes: 22

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   3
 2   0
 3   1
 4   2
 5   16

User Comments

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Phil Alexander - April 23, 2003 - Report this comment
ROFL! Some brilliant couplets in there :-)
Rice Cube - April 23, 2003 - Report this comment
Aww, dude, why you gotta punish Guam? :-D
Michael Pacholek - April 24, 2003 - Report this comment
Guam's not being punished, they just wanted to wish Barbra Joan a happy birthday. (Born April 24, 1942 in Brooklyn.) Not one of the better "Star Trek" parodies, but the worst of them is better than 80 percent of those about the Ring quagmire. At least, that is, until someone has James T. Kirk say, "Give me back my ship, my precious!"
Claude 4 Prez Fan Club - February 21, 2004 - Report this comment
I dig when parodies incorporate jokes from unrelated subjects. Like, say, when a "'Star Trek' parody" (which defines this way too narrowly) seamlessly beams in jokes about Barbara Streisand, Richard Gere, and fettucini. Also, I'm a sucker for creative rhymes, and there's plenty to suck on here.
Spock - February 21, 2004 - Report this comment
Jokes are illogical, though this parody is somewhat logical it is still quite irregular.
mac - February 21, 2004 - Report this comment
LOL... good one Claude.
Claude Prez - March 02, 2004 - Report this comment
Belated thanks for the comments; I'm pretty bad about that

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