Rock This Way

Backbone’s achin’ and my hands have started shakin’
And my hips need replacin’…they say
My bowels have just stopped movin’…liver spots need removin’
And my hair just keeps a-thinin' each day
I met an old groupie…acting kind of loopy
Said we met back in ‘69
My guitar I was strummin’… when she offered me some gummin’
But I told her that I must decline
This time

Wheelchair rollin' up the ramp to the stage
With a shriveled old dude with a bass
Singin' "tisket a tasket
Maybe riding in a casket…is the way
I should leave this place”
With my dressing room filled with assorted pills
And my tank of oxygen turned up high
Time to thank my Creator…for this new defibrillator
As my doctor and nurse stand-by
‘Cuz they help me to

Rock this way
Every day
Same replay
Hair is grey
New toupee
Sad display
In decay
Rock this way

Just gimme a hand
To stand…

Latin lover…she’s another Great Grandmother
Whitened streaks showin’ up in her hair
Chest is hangin’ way low…and her name…“Consuelo”
Gives an image I don’t think I can bear
Now I’m an Ex-Lax user… and a Geritol abuser
And I think Metamucil tastes swell
As I tour the nation…in a state of constipation
Straining each time I let out a yell
It’s hell…

Band is playin' with the crowd goin’ wild
But my bladder is ready to burst
Thinkin'…here in the middle
It’s a riddle where to piddle…so I jumped
From the stage head-first
Then I started to dance…in my spandex pants
And then I let out a horrible scream
All the fans started groovin’…but then they all started movin’
As they ran from my ‘aero” stream
And I showed ‘em I

Rock this way
So cliché
With dismay
All the way
No delay
Need to pay
My IRA
Rock this way

Think we should be gone…?
Dream On !

IB