Woe is me, and I've been cryin'
How'd I get this tattoo on my back?

Don't remember goin' out to get this ink done
Maybe I was drunk or high on crack
Now it's really trippin' me up and I'm thinkin'
How'd I get this tattoo on my back?

It's a picture of the naked Mona Lisa
Cleaning her toilet bowl with Pat Sajak
There is fire shooting out from both their nostirls
How'd I get this tattoo on my back?

Well I got this business card in my pocket
Says, "All your ink work done by Biker Jack"
I'll go back to his place, I'll look him in the face
Say "Buddy get this tattoo off my back"

Well we had a nice long conversation
Left there with a bar code on my sack
How'm I gonna 'splain this to my girlfriend
'Bout that freakin' tattoo on my back?