This crazy TV's got me outta my head
I'm tired of the news
I flipped the channel, saw two people in bed
About to do the do
They're all alone, they're 'bout to bone
I can't believe my eyes
She is 46 24 36
Can you say 'super-size?'

Dirty deeds, on TV!
Dirty deeds, on TV!
Dirty deeds, on TV!
(Dirty deeds and they're on TV!)
(Dirty deeds and they're on TV!)

I'm watching people on the channel of love
They all get broken hearts
But they'll be banging with each other's friends
Before the next scene starts (damn!)
I'm in the zone, picked up the phone
And made a social call, I said
"Come on guys, you won't believe your eyes
Beats Monday night football!"

Dirty deeds, on TV!
Dirty deeds, on TV!
Dirty deeds, on TV!
(Dirty deeds and they're on TV!)
(Dirty deeds and they're on TV!)
Yeahhh

(his wife comes home, sees the guy with all his rowdy friends watching the free porn)

My old lady just came through the door
Ain't she went friggin' nuts
She started slappin all my buddies around
And threw them on their butts
Now I'm alone, kicked from my home
She doesn't understand
Guys like to see porn thats free, oh well
Now I'm a homeles man


Dirty deeds, on TV!
Dirty deeds, on TV!
Dirty deeds, on TV!
(Dirty deeds and they're on TV!)
(Dirty deeds and they're on TV!)

Three-somes, exhibitions, silicone
(On TV!)
Hand cuffs, mile high club, in public
(On TV!)

Dirty deeds, on TV!
Dirty deeds, On TV!
Dirty deeds (I knew I shouldn't have watched that)
On TV!
Dirty deeds, dirty deeds, dirty deeds,
On TV!

(Hey...anybody got an extra room to rent?)