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Song Parodies -> "Crap Machine"

Original Song Title:

"Dancing Queen"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Abba

Parody Song Title:

"Crap Machine"

Parody Written by:

Rick Duncan

The Lyrics

People say pets give you love. I only find one tangible product they offer......
It can eat, it can sleep, shedding all over the couch
But that cat, thinks it's clean, it's one big crap machine

Friday night and the cat box reeks
Cat must go eighty times a week
Sleeps around the house all day, eatin' anything
Always new "prize" in the morning
When it's full he don't hit the tray
Go on a hunt with scoop and spray
People come to visit me, allergies and all
And it's never very cool
To trip over a "stool"

It's one big crap machine, there's no words, and then there's the peein'
Crap machine, sifting turds from that litter green
It can eat, it can sleep, shedding all over the couch
But that cat, thinks it's clean, it's one big crap machine

He's a charmer, he preens and purrs
Turn around and then s**t occurs
Looking out for another, any rug will do
I tried a diaper and pants
But he yowled, "Not a chance!"

It's one big crap machine, there's no words, and then there's the peein'
Crap machine, sifting turds from that litter green
It can eat, it can sleep, shedding all over the couch
But that cat, thinks it's clean, it's one big crap machine

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 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 



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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 3.0
How Funny: 3.0
Overall Rating: 3.0

Total Votes: 2

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 1
 1
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   1
 1
 1
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Johnny D - July 10, 2004 - Report this comment
And so are the Canadian geese here in Massachusetts!
Adagio - July 10, 2004 - Report this comment
Excellent, Rick. If I ever feel a tendency to get another cat, all I have to do is read ths...it will cure me in a hurry! 5's
John Barry - July 10, 2004 - Report this comment
Rick, with this and "Cat'll See the Bay," I gather you're not a "cat person."
Rod W - July 10, 2004 - Report this comment
Rick, not familiar with this tune, so I'm not voting. But I have to say, IF you truly feel this way, why do you even have this critter? (That said, I must admit I used to feel the same way, don't know how I got turned around, but now we've got 6!!) Let's chuck the jam idea, bro, don't think you'd like all our cat hair!
Rick D - July 10, 2004 - Report this comment
Actually, I love cats. (and birds) They're so much less trouble than dogs. Just the ones I have now are really stupid. The best pet I ever had was a pig.
zfunky1 - July 10, 2004 - Report this comment
This is a great take on an awful song... I'll never listen to Abba the same way and I thank you! I am a dog person and I was really hoping that this was a dog song but you didn't let me down at all.... again! 555
Rick D - July 10, 2004 - Report this comment
By the way, Rod, how did you get the impression that I ALWAYS write from personal opinion? I'm a Gemini. There's another guy in my head arguing with me all the time. Sometimes he writes. Sometimes she writes. (Look at all my female point of view stuff)
Rod - July 10, 2004 - Report this comment
Methinks your other guy/gal might be tossing you a curve, Rick. In my comment above, note the "IF" preceding my question. This was inserted to imply "no pre-conceived notion". However, though I take very few of these parodies at face value, I do believe that at least some of ourselves finds its way into them from time to time. And as a fellow Gemini, I am, of course, always questioning-- hence, the question I posed to you. Here's another question: Did you read my parodies of the "Star Spangled Banner" and "Daydream Believer"? The only times I do not vote/comment are when I am either unfamilar with the tune, or when I think the parody sucks. And before you answer, let's please treat the recorded and written portions of this website as the separate entities that they are, and allow me to remind you that I do not submit to, or comment on, content there. So happens that Johnny D asked me for feedback on Rocket Spam, and I obliged. Please don't take it personally that I did not comment on yours that were there. No, you haven't said anything, but you've been pretty quiet since then. (I will say to you now, however, that I found them quite fun and professionally done, especially the one with the vacuum cleaner going off --LOL!!). Well, I feel better now! And do me a favor, Rick, please don't bother--now--with the two parodies I just mentioned, that would be ridiculous. They've had their run, and I'm not interested in your feedback. Truth be told, I write for myself. One of these days, however, if I ever learn this craft, I may write something which compells a response from you. Until THEN-- please continue skipping mine, (for I now would be inclined to lump your comments in with the rest of the fairy dust that is scattered about in search of reciprocity). Peace, bro, and keep pickin', writin' and singin'!
alvin rhodes - July 10, 2004 - Report this comment
i have four cats, but they live at the machine shop i work at...yep, i must agree...pretty useless creatures...but at least mine go outside good parody...5s......the cats were gonna give ya ones, but its hard for them to vote with no opposable thumbs
Johnny D - July 10, 2004 - Report this comment
I'm a Gemini, two. And so am I.
Rod - July 10, 2004 - Report this comment
Johnny, I think you are are a brilliant and gifted freak of nature, and so do I. And truth be told, so is Rick, d' Prique!
Know 1 can hear you dream - July 11, 2004 - Report this comment
As a cat lover I canīt really agree this is five funny. And I do have some minor pacing problems with, for example "and then there’s the peein’". But maybe thatīs just me. Anyway, I giving you my 5 cents and fur-fur-fur.
I wish I was Bob Geldof - September 03, 2004 - Report this comment
I'm glad to see someone with a name as long as mine. Welcome, Know 1 can hear you dream!!!!

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