Have you heard of the disasters?
You can see them every day if you've got cable or a dish
The catastrophes come faster
Every hour there's another crisis showing on the set
When I watch Discovery
I hear them tell me that we ain't seen nothing yet

Getting closer every hour
The calamity that kills us off for all eternity
With unmitigated power
It'll rid the Earth of life and start the cycle once again
And I guess that when it comes
I'll stand up on my roof and play my violin

There are comets falling through the sky
We all will die together
Huge volcano pyroclastic flows
Nature's turbo sandblaster
Though we try to find a place to hide
There's no escape
All the scientific folks agree
There's fourty-three disasters
You can see it there on your TV
There's gonna be disasters

Now they've gone to some commercials
Remote control is ready, cradled right here in my hand
So I switch to Science Channel
Where I see the doom that waits for those who live upon this land
I can see it on the screen
It seems it's foreordained the human race is damned

There'll be earthquakes and a tidal wave
"It's coming" say forecasters
Earth's magnetic poles will flip around
The problem's sounding vaster
And I think I need a glass of wine
Or maybe ten
It's the end of life for you and me
They guarantee disasters

There's an ice age coming any day
A white and gray Earth blaster
Radiation through the ozone hole
Will take its toll much faster
Though I sometimes think that it's all for
Ratings and cash
I will watch these programs without doubt
To learn about disasters
So are you ready for a worldwide drought
As Nature sprouts disasters
Now it's much to late to wail and pout
We can't keep out disasters