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Song Parodies -> "The Zipper Took It All"

Original Song Title:

"The Winner Takes It All"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

ABBA

Parody Song Title:

"The Zipper Took It All"

Parody Written by:

Peter Andersson a.k.a K1chyd

The Lyrics

Parody writing can be hazardous to your health, take my word for it. There I was at home, quietly and peacefully pondering a couple of rhymes of the under-the-belt kind while at the same time liberating some used caffeine from internal circulation, when suddenly and quite painfully my muse cut me off in midthought to deliver a different bloody angle. Now some may argue that since I'm a man it was my muse that was cut off, and that may be, but I still managed to write this narrative tale about the (no longer) whole thing.
I just had to squawk
Hoping it was untrue
No more squirting free
Now that's history
I'm slain beyond scarred
And the nuts are gone too
No more roll in hay
Nothing to display

The zipper took it all
The hose and both de balls
That piss turned toooo goryyyy
Valedictory

I was first alarmed
Blinking I then stood there
I flunked my future tense
Built now like the Kens
Having there at home
A genitals are gone scare
Gosh I lost my duals
Zipping like a fool

The goods where thrown on ice
To no use (way too sliced)
Yes somehow way down there
I lost something dear

The zipper took it all
Remains are very small
There's nothing much to see
12 inch' history

Don't ask me how I piss
Lest no-one will miss you
Dude I cannot aim
But I'm not a dame
Since I lost my pride
That place you don't go to
So shut up I pray
Jewel jokes' clichéd

Adjudged here on the side
Unlikely I'll now astride
Spectators of my low
Evermore plateau
The time it took my friend
A second poorly spent
A big thing uninstalled
The zipper took it all

I don't want you gawk
Shit happens, I've been had
And in this here land
No more I'll hold my gland

I zipped up unwise
And if you think that's bad
There I've nothing, hence
Now I've normal sense
So you see
The zipper took it aaaaaaaall
The zipper took it aaaaaaaall

That damned zipper
Took it all off
Both the ol' hose
And the balls
Cut to size
Wasn't nice
Down I stare
"Bye-bye dear"
It's been cut off
Don't you boff
© Peter Andersson.

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 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 4.9

Total Votes: 23

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   2
 1
 2
 
 5   21
 22
 21
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Jack Wilson - October 26, 2006 - Report this comment
Ever seen There's Something About Mary? LOL remidned me of that great job! 555!
Matthias - October 26, 2006 - Report this comment
The Pork And Beans?!
TJC - October 26, 2006 - Report this comment
Very funny, you might even say.... cutting edge! I just saw "Mama Mia" (the musical based on the songs of ABBA) last week so still had the OS bouncing around in the ol' cranium!
AFW - October 26, 2006 - Report this comment
Great mix of pain and puns...
Dee Range - October 26, 2006 - Report this comment
I guess that now we will have to call you.....groan...."No Peter Anderson!"
Red Ant - October 26, 2006 - Report this comment
BWAHAHA! Very funny work, Peter, and I could so hear a guy singing this in a high ABBA-type voice. 555.
Jack Wilson - October 26, 2006 - Report this comment
Matthias: LOL, we thought the same thing!
Yoidy - October 26, 2006 - Report this comment
All I can say is...OUUCHH!!
Peregrin - October 28, 2006 - Report this comment
Good one! So long as it's someone else!
The Charnstar - November 03, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) I feel your pain... I feel it... TOO much
tomario - November 09, 2006 - Report this comment
brought a lump to my throat (two actually) can't give you 2 nuts but i can give you 3 5s
Chris Bodily TM - November 21, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Wow! A beautiful collection of poetry, pain, humor, and penis jokes. You're lucky your parents didn't name you Richard, 'cause that would be a sad irony. And you're right, too, the zipper does take it all! 555
Jack Wilson - November 22, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Great job Chris, his name is Peter so still...
Red Ant - November 25, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) See above, and there is something to be said for plastic zippers and stretch pants. =) Still funny work, Peter.
bobpiecheese - November 26, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Oh, great. Thanks a lot, Yoidy! I was gonna say that! But oh no, you had to say it first didn't you? Um...anyway, brilliant (yet painful) parody, K1chyd!
Agrimorfee - November 27, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) OUCH!! 555 for having the balls to write that...but a bit too graphic for my tastes, personally.
Stuart McArthur - November 27, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) boff???? ha - I think this could be my favourite one of yours ever, Peter, "Yesterdays" included - great sub/idea for the title, and then just lots of bizarre and beautifully paced ideas combining for a great result! - 555
Jack Wilson - November 27, 2006 - Report this comment
Yeah,Peter thsi is one of my favs of yours too, my fav is probably I Hereby Announce My Candidacy
Michael McVey - November 28, 2006 - Report this comment
Someone went out there and won one for the zipper. *ducks*----MM
Kristof Robertson - November 29, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) This is a (family) jewel of a parody, Peter. Simple, unadorned wit of the highest order, and one of my faves of yours. The melancholic tone of the OS just adds to the funniness. If you want a good ABBA parody, you need a Swede! Bravo 555+
Phil Alexander - November 29, 2006 - Report this comment
Mwahahaha - definitely the most eye-wateringly funny one I've read this month. A cut above, so to speak ;-)
2nz - November 29, 2006 - Report this comment
Ouch, funny stuff Peter. Funny, funny parody, but I especially liked:
"A genitals are gone scare/ /Gosh I lost my duals /Zipping like a fool"
Also, I now have a mis-heard lyric inspired by your parody. In the final stanza that only the chorus sings, I swear the first line that they sing sounds like 'so long, weiner'...
wannabemustangjockey - November 30, 2006 - Report this comment
SOTM - Does that make you a "Dancing Queen" now?
Jeff Reuben - November 30, 2006 - Report this comment
There's Something About Mary? =) Funny idea!
Jack Wilson - November 30, 2006 - Report this comment
LOL your the third persomn who thought of that AND mentioned it,good job! LOL
Jack Wilson - November 30, 2006 - Report this comment
WE GOT A BLEEDER!!!!!!! LOL
Tim Mayfield - December 01, 2006 - Report this comment
SOTM: That's some dangerous pair of pants you bought. Haven't they been banned in seven countries?
Johnny D - December 23, 2006 - Report this comment
Buttons, my good man, buttons. ;-)
Spaff.com - January 27, 2007 - Report this comment
I can't decide on a comment, so I'll let you choose:
(a) Know 1 can hear you scream.
(b) Now you know why I don't wear pants.
(c) Peterrific!
Rick C - March 30, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTY) Now one of my favorite K1 KO's. Sorry it took me months to find this, Peter! 555+++
Below Average Dave - March 31, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTY) My crotch hurts, I'll get back to you later. . .I don't know if I should laugh or cry.

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