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Song Parodies -> "Damn IKEA"

Original Song Title:

"Mamma Mia"

Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"Damn IKEA"

Parody Written by:

Kristof Robertson

The Lyrics

There was a documentary on UK TV last night called "IKEA Ruined My Life" or something similar....this parody just had to be written!
See the signs from the road? Pretty yellow and blue
Like Swedish UFOs, they are summoning you
You need a bedand a table lamp
You're off your headit's a bit like you're hooked on smack
You'll be flat-packed to hell and back
Just one CD rack in untreated pine
One more scatter rug and then I'll be fineo-o-o-oh

Damn IKEA, here we go again
My my, feeling pale and trembly
Damn IKEA, sold me "Trollfjorden"
My my, it's all self-assembly!
And if a screw goes AWOL
Man, you'll feel like an a-hole..
Why why, are you going back for more?
Damn IKEA, with their budget lines
My my, what a soul destroying store

I get angry and sad when I get the stuff home
Can't be built in a day, but then neither was Rome
I've got a drilla screwdriver too
I need a pillit's a given I'm gonna crack
You can shove your Fjus up your Frack!
Just one hernia and spinal prolapse
One more screw and then I'll watch it collapseo-o-o-oh

Damn IKEA, scand(inav)alous
My my, they are international
Damn IKEA, cheap and fabulous
Why why do we get irrational?
Hyp-notised by those sweet calls
I don't even like meatballs!
Sigh sigh'nother weekend down the drain
Damn IKEA, need I tell you more
My my, queues go on forever
Damn IKEA, I'm a sofa whore
Buy buy, no sense whatsoever

Damn IKEA, think I've overspent
Try try getting it in my trunk
Damn IKEA, maybe I'll repent
Why why did I buy all this junk?
All of my friends are laughin'
Sitting on my new Spaffen
Why why do they have these stupid names?
Damn IKEA, crappy picture frames
Bye bye; watch it all go up in flames..

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.9
Overall Rating: 4.9

Total Votes: 32

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   1
 4   4
 5   27

User Comments

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Dumb Ass Kid - March 29, 2005 - Report this comment
Officially THE BEST PARODY I HAVE EVER READ. If you don't record this, it would be a crime against humanity. If you don't record it at least send it to Wierd Al... you could make a fortune from this, it's solid gold! 555 (Would give you 10,10,10!)
Johnny D - March 29, 2005 - Report this comment
Definitely one of the best ABBA parodies I've ever read.
alvin rhodes - March 29, 2005 - Report this comment
i like the way this was assembled...5s
Judge Judy - March 29, 2005 - Report this comment
Good parody, Kristof. TO: DUMB ASS KID...You need to read more of Kristof's back catalogue. This is good, but not in his TOP TWENTY. And also see SPAFF.COM before you go putting yourdumb-ass foot in your dumb-ass mouth again. 555
John Barry - March 29, 2005 - Report this comment
Two horrible imports from Sweden in one song, most excellent. I lost it to laughter at "Swedish UFOs."
Ravyn Rant - March 29, 2005 - Report this comment
So very true, and so well said! Fives for you!
Peter Andersson a.k.a K1chyd - March 29, 2005 - Report this comment
As an official Swedish UFO I'll have to send you those 555 screws that were NOT in the assembly package. I'll also let you in on the news (soon coming to other multinational companies near you anyway) that IKEA in Sweden is under pressure from the feminist movement, apparently their assembly instruction manuals only have male or gender neutral figures (that's bad to, according to leading national feminists here) on display, and that's "discrimination" and legal action might have to be taken. I know that there's parody material in that, just havent come up with the right idea yet. :-)
Yoness - March 29, 2005 - Report this comment
IKEA and Wal-Mart should get together and give birth to the anti-Christ. Great parody!
Dumb Ass Kid to Judge Judy - March 29, 2005 - Report this comment
I have actually had a glance over a few of Kristof's songs. Some of them I don't know, but what the hell has that got to do with me liking this parody?! A single may not even enter the top twenty, but it doesn't mean I don't like it, or mean that I have to go and look at the rest of the artist's back catalogue. Do you happen to have any parodies? If you do I would be VERY interested to see them...
Judge Judy - March 29, 2005 - Report this comment
Kid, you just show your age and lack of experience here. Nothing wrong with liking this, but to call it the best parody you ever read just means you haven't read very many. I would love for Kristof to rate this, numerically, where he would place it on his list of his own favorite parodies.
Phil Alexander - March 30, 2005 - Report this comment
Wonderful, Kristof. Though it does spark the idea: shouldn't a parody about IKEA simply list all the words you're going to use with an (incomplete) plan of how to put them together?
Figgy - March 30, 2005 - Report this comment
Awesome parody trio of 5s
Dumb Ass Kid to Judge Judy - March 30, 2005 - Report this comment
Why are you picking on me? I don't know you nor have I done anything to aggrivate you. You are just trying to cause unnecessary trouble between us. All i said that it's the best parody i've read, which in my opinion, it is. Just because you don't necessarily agree with me doesn't mean you have to go mouthing off...
D-Boz - March 30, 2005 - Report this comment
This was an excellent parody! Very clever and funny and oh so true! 5-5-5's from me on this one. I especially liked the line "I'm a sofa whore", LMAO!!!
Stuart McArthur - March 31, 2005 - Report this comment
well said, Dumb Ass Kid (last comment).....Judge Judy, what's the fear about using your real name? I don't get it. DAK's compliment bothered you, so why the scaredy-cat alias to hide behind, just so you can tell him, then hide? What will he do? Disagree back? OOH, the horror!

sensational stuff, Kristof - I don't minfd the Fjus, but those trollfjordens really get my back up - and scand(inav)alous! - LOL! - 555
Dumb Ass Kid - March 31, 2005 - Report this comment
LOL! Thanx, Stu!
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - May 06, 2005 - Report this comment
Spaff: "Oi! Get off me!" Utterly hilarious and well written parody, Kristof.
Jeannie - September 16, 2005 - Report this comment
Shadow Spectrum - November 06, 2005 - Report this comment
GOLD!!! (get it? Gold as in great parody? Gold as in Abba Gold collection? Huh? Huh?...sigh... just forget I said anything...
Johnny D - August 03, 2006 - Report this comment
(ABC) Grab your Allen Wrench and see above!
Agrimorfee - August 03, 2006 - Report this comment
(ABC3) We bought one of their beds, and it took about 4 hours to put it together the first wife was very exhausted when she was done putting it together. Clever title substitution.
bobpiecheese - August 04, 2006 - Report this comment
(ABC3-D) I have never seen an IKEA store. That's probably for the best, according to you. Well done, Kristof, my other fellow Aussie!
Red Ant - August 06, 2006 - Report this comment
(ABCD3) Sadly, I've never been in an IKEA, nor do I really remember them, but this still was funny, and the pacing/rhyming is outstanding. 5s
Cat - August 07, 2006 - Report this comment
(ABC3-D) Amazing, Kristof. And regarding those funny names, I once read that an IKEA couch called "Gudvik" named after a town in Sweden had to be recalled because its translation was obscene in German...and it's not too hard to guess what it was, either! ;)
Matthias - August 08, 2006 - Report this comment
Take a seat on your throne, err, Spaffen King Kristof!
Michael McVey - August 09, 2006 - Report this comment
I don't understand half the jokes (not being a Swede) and I STILL laughed! --MM
Rick C - August 13, 2006 - Report this comment
(ABC3-D) Great job, especially liked "scand(inav)alous"! The "AWOL" and "a-hole" match was good too. 555
Stuart McArthur - August 15, 2006 - Report this comment
(ABC3D) fair enough with shoving the Fjus up their Fracks, but not liking meatballs!! gee, that's harsh - absolutely wittily brilliantly funny stuff, KR :-)
Jeff Reuben - August 16, 2006 - Report this comment
Any song with A-hole makes me laugh. I'm a sucker for Ikea too.

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