See the signs from the road? Pretty yellow and blue
Like Swedish UFOs, they are summoning you
You need a bedand a table lamp
You're off your headit's a bit like you're hooked on smack
You'll be flat-packed to hell and back
Just one CD rack in untreated pine
One more scatter rug and then I'll be fineo-o-o-oh

Damn IKEA, here we go again
My my, feeling pale and trembly
Damn IKEA, sold me "Trollfjorden"
My my, it's all self-assembly!
And if a screw goes AWOL
Man, you'll feel like an a-hole..
Why why, are you going back for more?
Damn IKEA, with their budget lines
My my, what a soul destroying store

I get angry and sad when I get the stuff home
Can't be built in a day, but then neither was Rome
I've got a drilla screwdriver too
I need a pillit's a given I'm gonna crack
You can shove your Fjus up your Frack!
Just one hernia and spinal prolapse
One more screw and then I'll watch it collapseo-o-o-oh

Damn IKEA, scand(inav)alous
My my, they are international
Damn IKEA, cheap and fabulous
Why why do we get irrational?
Hyp-notised by those sweet calls
I don't even like meatballs!
Sigh sigh'nother weekend down the drain
Damn IKEA, need I tell you more
My my, queues go on forever
Damn IKEA, I'm a sofa whore
Buy buy, no sense whatsoever

Damn IKEA, think I've overspent
Try try getting it in my trunk
Damn IKEA, maybe I'll repent
Why why did I buy all this junk?
All of my friends are laughin'
Sitting on my new Spaffen
Why why do they have these stupid names?
Damn IKEA, crappy picture frames
Bye bye; watch it all go up in flames..