Just sit right back and see this show
You've seen a thousand times
With seven stupid characters
That speak unfunny lines
The mate is a total imbecile
The skipper three times more
They're on at least three times a day
In a half hour bore
A half hour bore

The writers started getting drunk
The day the first show aired
The producer said "We got a hit!"
Then they were twice as scared
Their reputation on the line
Their stomachs tied in knots
They started typing at the keys
Their minds devoid of plots
They had no plots

They had to write for actors
From the "Z" list sent from S.A.G.
A skinny jerk, a chubby guy
Mr. Magoo, and some old broad
A cover girl
A couple other nameless slobs
(Which, by the way, were referred to as "and the rest" until the second season)

But you can sit there every day
With an idiotic grin
For some this show does so much more
Than pot or aspirin
No sex, no drugs, no politics
Not a thing to make you think
No wonder you don't realize
How much this show does stink

So just keep right on watching it
The re-runs by the score
They must be ninety episodes
Of that Gilligan's bore