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Song Parodies -> "The Ethics Song"

Original Song Title:

"The Chemical Song"

Original Performer:

Tom Lehrer

Parody Song Title:

"The Ethics Song"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

The FSA* has had its say on what it thinks is ethical
They've drafted some scenarios some tricky hypotheticals
Although some in the markets think it's totally heretical
They're afraid the regulator's gonna get them by the testicles

It may seem a contradiction rather hopeless quite impossible
They're just not good at being good they're really quite incapable
The bottom line is where they're at you may think it's reprehensible
but greed is good and when the chips are down morality's dispensible

Stock options are what counts for them their eye is always on that ball
All the rest is background noise you know they're really cynical
They say they care about their clients but they're really hypocritical
Enron wasn't such a special case in fact it was quite typical.........

they're masters of the universe their schedules are frenetic
they always know just what they want and how they're going to get it
They're wealthy and they're proud of it quite unapologetic
Oh but dealing with the taxman leaves them feeling apoplectic

that's why they're prone to heart attacks and they're often quite dyspeptic
I know they have their problems too I'm not unsympathetic
It's so stressful for them sometimes that need an anaesthetic
You can spot them staggering around the city getting totally paralytic

Their wives are stranded in the suburbs getting lonely and neurotic
reading novels by the pool... they like them steamy and erotic
they're into flirting with the poolman they want to sh*g him something chronic
such a change from the old routine of self abuse and a gin and tonic

when it comes to safe investments safe sex it's problematic
but ethics is as useful as a leaky prophylactic

*The British equivalent of the SEC

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.0
How Funny: 3.0
Overall Rating: 3.0

Total Votes: 1

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   1
 5   0

User Comments

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neminem - February 06, 2004 - Report this comment
1. This song is titled "The Elements." 2. The Elements was itself a parody of this song by Gilbert and Sullivan:
MarthaDTox - February 06, 2004 - Report this comment
Yes well spotted .. is that against the rules?
sloatead - February 06, 2004 - Report this comment
4-3-3, the pacing was off in several places, and, sorry, it just wasn't that funny
MarthaDTox - February 06, 2004 - Report this comment
Hey thanks!
Phil Alexander - March 31, 2004 - Report this comment
Missed this one first time around - it's almost as hard to sing as my first "Major-General's Song" parody: - which like this is not entirely funny, but is a lovely bit of verbal dexterity; however, looking at this parody, you might prefer something more like this: "The Business Analyst's Song"
Rick D - May 14, 2004 - Report this comment
On second thought, If you're going to sing this, you'd better give me a tempo indication, too. This looks though to do fast.
martha - May 16, 2004 - Report this comment
Hi Rick The messageboard is down at present. If I send you the tape of the version that I am using it wil be OK cos I do it at that tempo .. v fast about the same as the Lehrer version If you have a postal address you could let me have by means of a private message I could put all the stuff in the post and sort out the price etc...
Rick D - May 16, 2004 - Report this comment
Okay Martha. When it comes back up I'll send you our address. Send me a package with a return address and I'll mail you back a couple versions. (CDs with wav files sound better, and I can include other stuff along with it, and I don't care about postage. It's how humanity survived for a hundred years.)
martha - May 17, 2004 - Report this comment
Hi Have sent a message...
kim - February 21, 2005 - Report this comment
Is there an audio

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