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Song Parodies -> "When The Bailout Starts Pouring From Those Guys"

Original Song Title:

"When The Lovelight Starts Shining Through His Eyes"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

The Supremes

Parody Song Title:

"When The Bailout Starts Pouring From Those Guys"

Parody Written by:

Tommy Turtle

The Lyrics

The *very first* Top 40 hit for this group -- underplayed, under-rated, and never-parodied, at least here. Written by Motown's top writing team, Holland/Dozier/Holland. OS lyrics here. Thanks to TJC for finding a YouTube video here.

A big flop am I
My bank just went bye-bye
It vanished to thin air
But Congress don't seem to care

I asked them, "Please bail me out"
"My bonus earned; there's no doubt"
I just stood there, brave and bold
But they acted cold

But when the cash flow starts pissing from those guys
I thought, "Don't forget - sell off your private jet"
And when they wrote a check and said, "What the heck" [1]
Then I knew: taxpayers, screw!
And they won my vote

So my bonus, I super-sized
Hoping that Congress wouldn't mind
But not a word did they say
Took their dough and went away

Yes, when the pork bucks start flowing from those guys
Made me realize: Take them for a ride
And when they passed a bill for a trillion bucks [1]
Then I knew: what fools are you!
Fool and money part [2]

When one said: oversight, he seeks
I told them, "Bite my cheeks!"
Instead of saying, "Your pay, freeze"
They held out their hands: "Donate, please"

So when the bailout starts gushing from those guys
You should realize it's a pack of lies
And when they pass a bill giving tax cuts, too [1]
Here's a clue; I'm warning you:
It's inflation's start

And when the bullsh*t stops, watch those prices rise
You should realize how that John Keynes lied [3]
Too bad he sold that cr*p to old FDR...

Federal Reserve Board starts printing paper bucks
You should realize that you''ve all been f***ed.
And with inflation's rise, as each voter cries...
(I told you...)
(I told you...)
(Yep, I told you so...)

[fade, as the US fades]



[1] Pacing note, as if anyone actually knows the OS: it puts three syllables in "upon": "u-u-pon".

[2] “A fool and his money are soon parted.” -- Thomas Tusser (English farmer and writer, 1524-1580)

[3] John Maynard Keynes (1883-1946) was a British economist who taught that you can get rich by spending money you don't have, rather than by saving, investing, and producing something useful; and that a government, which is nothing more than all of you put together, can somehow wave a magic wand and make each of you richer without any of you actually doing any more work. His theories dominated US economics from the 1940s through the 1960s, but the payback finally arrived in the 1970s in a new phenomenon, "stagflation": high unemployment and no growth combined with hyperinflation. (This cost President Jimmy Carter his re-election.) Unfortunately, the distortions in the economy caused by the massive government interventions advocated by Keynes always seem to result in calls for yet more government fu-- I mean, interfering -- with the economy.

The author believes that he was the only grad student ever to have submitted his Master's thesis in the form of a song parody*. © 2009 Tommy Turtle. All rights reserved. E-mail: tomm...@yahoo.com

*It was entitled, "Keynes Sucks: How The British, Jealous At Losing Their Dominant Global Standing To The United States, Got Revenge By Foisting Keynes On The U.S."

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   8
 8
 8
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Timmy1000 - February 18, 2009 - Report this comment
I remember the OS - well done on the parody. Your economic theories are on point, which means the stimulus is being shoved right up our backsides. Keynes was an idiot - you can't spend what you don't have; it has to be paid back sometime.
alvin - February 18, 2009 - Report this comment
have to admit i didn't know the song but it was a clever and amusing read
AFW - February 18, 2009 - Report this comment
While we may not peep quite the same crosshairs, politically....I like the parody..
TJC - February 18, 2009 - Report this comment
In desperate times, at least you've got the guffaws trickling down--no Federal bored here! BTW, I thought you had to go to Thailand for a good, stiff, er Keyning?
Tommy Turtle - February 18, 2009 - Report this comment
Timmy 1000: Since your understanding of debt far exceeds that of Congress or the President, any chance of you running for either? You have my vote, and thanks for yours :-)

alvin, thanks... if you're a motown fan, check the youtube video at the link.

AFW: Thanks for not letting our differences of opinion affect your perception of the parody -- unlike *some* people around here! Thanks for v/c.
adagio - February 18, 2009 - Report this comment
Like alvin I didn't know the song, but it didn't stop the enjoyment! 5's
Tommy Turtle - February 18, 2009 - Report this comment
TJC: I could be wrong, and forgive me if I am, but isn't that Singapore? If you sing-a-poor parody, the dude Keynes your butt. :-) lol! ... Thanks for v/c.

adagio: long time no see! and i see that the economy is so bad that the number of people who don't have enough capital (as in letters, get it?) is growing :-) thanks for v/c, adagio!
Christie Marie M - February 18, 2009 - Report this comment
Great economic factors in your parody, Tommy Turtle! 555!
Tommy Turtle - February 18, 2009 - Report this comment
Christie Marie M, great quantitative factors in your vote! Thanks!
John Jenkins - February 18, 2009 - Report this comment
Excellent stuff, TT. In 2 or 3 years, when inflation is starting to take off, we can look back at this parody and remember that you warned us. I particularly like the super-sized bonus line and the "seeks/cheeks/freeze/please" verse.
Tommy Turtle - February 19, 2009 - Report this comment
John Jenkins: This is one case where I'd really rather not be right, but... Thanks for your vote and thoughtful commentary.
Mark Scotti - February 21, 2009 - Report this comment
Fantastic job, Tommy T!! I'm going to bailout some 5's to your nobel cause!
Tommy Turtle - February 22, 2009 - Report this comment
Mark Scotti: Thanks... I need all I can get! ... any chance of throwin' in a private jet? (lol) thanks for v/c, Mark.

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