(instrumental opening)

There's a new world somewhere
they call the Promised Land.
I can go there someday
but Mel just might be banned.
He could search the whole world over
until his life is through
but you know, he'll never please another Jew.

There is always someone for each of us, they say.
But the Hebrew someones, to Mel, they say, "Oy vey!"
They don't need his crummy movies
or prejudicial view.
And you know, he'll never please another Jew.

It's a long, long journey
they'd like him to go ride.
Now, he walks through a storm
and how he's cried.
How he's cried!

He has made such a fortune.
His pleasure now is small.
He could blow it all tomorrow
if he still has the gall.
And if he should lose box office
he won't know what he'll do.
And you know, he'll never please another Jew.

(instrumental break)

And if he should lose box office
he might go back to brew.
And you know, he'll never please another Jew.
Another Jew.
Another Jew!