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Song Parodies -> "Kyle Farnsworth"

Original Song Title:

"Salt of the Earth"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

The Rolling Stones

Parody Song Title:

"Kyle Farnsworth"

Parody Written by:

Michael Pacholek

The Lyrics

"Loaiza." "Sturtze So Bad." "Scott Proctor." "Gone Long On Henn, Naturally." Now comes Kerosene Kyle, who hasn't yet figured out that it doesn't matter how fast you throw a baseball if you can't get it over the white thing in the middle. And I don't mean the umpire. Oh, sure, he hits the strike zone every now and then. This usually results in banjo hitters stroking 400-foot home runs. He's a bum, and he is, to use the phrase from ESPN's "Pardon the Interruption," in a gots-to-go situation!
Let's drink to the hard-throwing pitcher.
Let's drink to the worst one on Earth.
Let's drink to he who makes us kvetchers.
Let's drink to old Kyle Farnsworth.

Say a prayer for the poor Yankee catcher.
Spare a thought for his backbreaking work.
Say a prayer for this wild-pitch snatcher
who must catch for this gopher-ball jerk.

And when I search a faceless crowd
a swirling mass of Pinstriped blue and white
they don't look real to me.
In fact, they look so strained.

Kicked is butt of the guy with the glower.
To save his life, this guy can't find the plate.
He can throw a hundred miles an hour
but result is some pitching we hate.

Spare a thought for upset Joe Girardi.
Manager who brought him in the game.
Patience long, disposition is hardy.
Soon he'll see, Farnsworth brings us such shame.

And when I look in the faceless crowd
a swirling mass of Pinstriped blue and white
They don't look real to me.
Or don't they look so strained.

Let's drink to the high-paying Yank fans
who think October's their right-of-birth.
Spare a thought for their pitcher's big tank, man.
Let's drink to old Kyle Farnsworth.

Let's hope the Yanks get new relievers
who will bring us some October mirth.
Kyle just can't make me a believer.
Makes me drink, 'cause he's not a darn's worth.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.2
Overall Rating: 4.2

Total Votes: 4

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 3   0
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 4   1
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 5   3
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User Comments

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alvin - May 21, 2008 - Report this comment
too funny....fits the sad tone of the OS well....dodgers have both loaiza and proctor now
Michael Pacholek - May 21, 2008 - Report this comment
And Sturtze is in the Dodgers' minor-league system. Now all you gotta do is call him up, and then bring the Padres into Chavez Ravine and let them put Henn on the mound, and you got yourselves a par-tee!
Max Power - May 21, 2008 - Report this comment
Sturtze did started out great in 2005 but by mid-season he tanked and have reverted to his older self and worse since then.
anthony - December 11, 2008 - Report this comment
farnsie rewls the school and this song sucks f***in ladyfarts y' hear? I could write a better song with one a****** tied behind by pubes.

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