All my turds are brown ( Almost all are brown )
And my eyes are grey ( And the walls are grey )
I just took a dump ( He just took a dump )
On this sh**ty day ( What else can I say? )
I'll be kind and warn ( He'll be kind and warn )
Put up the caution tape ( The stench is nasal rape )
Man this turd is steamin' ( D*mn that turd is steamin' )
On such a sh**ty day

I dropped trow in a stall
I gassed all in the way
Hell, my pants are at my knees ( Pants around his knees )
And I began to say ( Don't come out sideways )
Oh, the toilet hates the stool ( Toilet hates the stool )
Gross but does not complain ( Still leaves a sh*t stain )
Man this turd is steamin' ( D*mn that turd is steamin' )
On such a sh**ty day

( farts the flute solo and other instruments )

Underwear is brown ( Underwear is brown )
And the Tide won't take ( Wish this stain was fake )
I just took a dump ( He just took a dump )
Such a way to wake ( Man for goodness sake )
No I can not tell her ( No way you can tell her )
Her lawyer would rake ( Have half what I make )

Man this turd is steamin' ( D*mn that turd is steamin' )
On such a sh**ty day ( Man this turd is steamin' )
On such a sh**ty day ( D*mn that turd is steamin' )
It's such a sh**ty day.