An hour ago
When my tea was green
There were hundreds of animals
On my TV screen
Posed in front of me
While some drool was taking form
And the tastiest of them all
Was the Unicorn

There were fresh water waders
And tasty beasts
Some stomach-pouched mammals
And some gray donkeys
Some fat cave bats, man eating plants
And even bighorn
Though tastiest of all
Was the Unicorn

Should have seen me grinnin'
Cause it made me smile
Well for a light snack
It's better than crocodile
So I called up the pet store
Answered as "you know who"
Told them that I'd like two

Throw in some of them
Fresh water waders
And tasty beasts
Some stomach-pouched mammals
And some gray donkeys
Some fat cave bats, man eating plants
And even bighorn
And please gift wrap my Unicorn

The owner replied
your order is tall
We're fresh out of water waders
And then the man started stalling
He sent both his helpers
To check their stock
Then they called out
From the back room
"Hey, boss we've got some...

Fresh water waders
And tasty beasts
Some stomach-pouched mammals
And some gray donkeys
Some fat cave bats, man eating plants
And even bighorn
We just can't find a Unicorn."

The owner looked up
In his library
The Unicorn's short history
Reading it to me
Scanning and searching
For the final curtain
Of those tasty Unicorns

They were served upon platters
With hunks of cheese
Sweet pastry-packed funnels
And some black-eyed peas
Baked in pies by the score
Mixed with rice and corn
Yes, they loved to eat
Tasty Unicorns."

They tamed all those critters
Then took 'em for a ride
Ate Unicorns roasted on a spit
And deep fried
Then the waiters came down
They cleaned and cleared the plates away
And that's why you've never seen a Unicorn
To this very day

Can eat fresh water waders
And tasty beasts
Some stomach-pouched mammals
And some gray donkeys
Those fat cave bats, man eating plants
And lotsa bighorn
But never barbecue a Unicorn