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Song Parodies -> "Kerry Man"

Original Song Title:

"Carrie Anne"

Original Performer:

The Hollies

Parody Song Title:

"Kerry Man"

Parody Written by:

Guy DiRito

The Lyrics

Hey, Kerry man.
Hey, Kerry man.

You checked your own stool, fearing a pimple.
They put the senator's butt on a monitor.
Then they found a boulder poised to inspect,
Ripe for extraction as per their viewing.
Hey Kerry man, there's no shame now,
Not many do we spay.
Hey Kerry man, we're glad you came now,
Is this your lucky day?

Up your hallway's bum green rectal hiney,
Hospital attendant, scalpel bearing,
He wacked your charm while disengaging,
Then came a tragic disappearing.
Hey Kerry man, who's to blame now,
Not many do we spay.
Hey Kerry man, you're oh so lame now,
No more rolls in the hay.

You're so, not like a he-man you see (not like a he-man, you see)
More, more like a she-man than he (like a she-man than he)

Hey Kerry man, not the same now,
No more rolls in the hay.
Hey Kerry man, you're so lame now,
Viagra save the day.

Penial love you'll yearn and you'll be burning,
You'll lose your mind, 'cause of a bum feature.
You'll be stressin' over your gimp wicky
Come 'lection day how will you be weighing?

Hey Kerry man, stake your claim now,
Your feet are made of clay.
Hey Kerry man, hone your aim now,
Don't let it make you pay.

Kerry man, Kerry man, Kerry man.

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Voting Results

Pacing: 3.0
How Funny: 3.0
Overall Rating: 3.0

Total Votes: 2

Voting Breakdown

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    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   1

User Comments

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John Jenkins - July 15, 2003 - Report this comment
I am glad the John Kerry's prostate cancer surgery was successful. I anticipate that he will be the target of a lot of amiright parodies during the campaign for the Democratic party presidential nomination.
Guy DiRito - July 15, 2003 - Report this comment
I am way more than happy to start it and was also glad that his surgery was successful. If not then we could not have fun with these type parodies on him. J/K. But it's true - I feel he will be the butt of a lot of jokes and parodies in the upcoming year. Just look what they did to Cheney and his is heart related and not near as susceptible to lampooning as is Kerry's malady.
Michael Pacholek - July 15, 2003 - Report this comment
Credit for imagination, Guy, but if you'll recall -- he won't -- the same procedure, and surgery to treat what it found, was done on Saint Ronald of Bel Air in 1985. Didn't stop the right from canonizing him, or feigning shock when the left made jokes about that, or his prostate procedure the next year, for that matter. "They're gonna need a whole wing of the Smithsonian just for what they took outta the guy!" -- Alan King. Besides, I'd rather have a colonoscopy patient as President than an (expletive deleted -- take a wild guess as to which one)! Or a man with a bad heart a heartbeat away from the Presidency. Which leads me to be a little nervous about Bob Graham. But Kerry's heart is fine -- both his red one and his purple one, neither of which Georgie would know a damn thing about.
Guy DiRito - July 15, 2003 - Report this comment
Well, I respect anyone with a purple heart. At least this Dem had the decency to serve his country in the military sense. At least he wouldn't S**T all over the military, IF he gets the nomination and wins the election, as King William did. And he never demonstrated on foreign soil against the US as you know who did. I could go on and on about my favorite EX president, but this is just about parody and I did not slam Kerry because I do have respect for the man. I just poked some good humor at him no different than Jay Leno would do.

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