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Song Parodies -> "Sam I Am's Eggs and Ham"

Original Song Title:

"Build Me Up Buttercup"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

The Foundations

Parody Song Title:

"Sam I Am's Eggs and Ham"

Parody Written by:

2nz

The Lyrics

You enjoy some Seuss for a while. I hope this counts as a paranoid story for the sake of the tourney.
I hate green eggs and ham (eggs and ham)
Sam I Am, dammit
Get away from me (way from me)
No, not in a tree
And not with a goat (with a goat)
Or in a boat, damn you
In a box you say (fox you say)
No, please go away
I hate you (I hate you)
With your spoiled and old meat
It’s saggy and shaggy and bad
Take those and scram (those and scram)
Sam I Am, you make me mad

I’ll go out for a walk
When I start hearing you talk
Of your meat
And rhyming spots to eat (blah blea blah)
I’m at home or the store
There’s a knock at the door
And it’s YOU
You’re plea to eat repeats

(GO AWAY)
Spare me Sammy, you bastard hole
(JUST AMSCRA)
Won’t touch the bowl, with twenty-foot poles
(OR YOU’LL PAY)
Made your case
Now get up out my face
Stuff that meat too (Wahoo [Dorae], Wahoo [Dorae])

Can’t stand green eggs and ham (eggs and ham)
Sam I Am, stop now
You’re not welcome here (welcome here)
Well, maybe with beer
No, wait, not in bars (or in cars)
Not near or far, Samwise
Never from a jar (from a jar)
Or covered in tar
I hate you (I hate you)
And your eggs smell like old feet
They’re rotten, forgotten a lot
Get on the lamb (on the lamb)
Sam I Am, I’ll miss you not

Not hopping on pop
Not on bottom or top will I dine
You make me paranoid (what the hell?)
Now stop and desist
Or meet my hairy fist as a sign
That me you should avoid

(GO AWAY)
Spare me Sammy, you bastard hole
(JUST AMSCRA)
Won’t touch the bowl, with twenty-foot poles
(OR YOU’LL PAY)
Made your case
Now get up out my face
Stuff that meat too (Wahoo [Dorae], Wahoo [Dorae])

Stop with green eggs and ham (eggs and ham)
Sam I Am, bastard
Not on summer’s eve (With your sleeve)
No, really just leave
Never with your cat (in his hat)
I’ll get my bat real soon
Not while I’m in France (Or perchance)
If it’s down my pants
I hate you (I hate you)
And your soiled with mold meat
It’s stinky and stanky and stunk
Now stop this sham (stop this sham)
Sam I Am, un-lucky punk

I-I-I hate you with your spoiled and old meat
It’s saggy and shaggy and...
Copyright and whatever 2009+ Glen Stollberger

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 20

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
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 0
 
 2   0
 0
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 3   1
 2
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 4   1
 0
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 5   18
 18
 18
 

User Comments

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Matthias - February 05, 2009 - Report this comment
Loved it 2nz! I didn't know what you were talking about yesterday. It didn't really read paranoid as a title alone, but a further investigation says that this works perfectly. Loved it.
alvin - February 05, 2009 - Report this comment
lmao...this is great...my fave of the day
Claude Prez - February 05, 2009 - Report this comment
I do so like this par-o-dee! I do! I like it, 2 - n - z!
Timmy1000 - February 05, 2009 - Report this comment
Love this one - much better than Seuss.
Matthias - February 12, 2009 - Report this comment
This was great and filled with Dr. Seuss references that I didn't catch on the first read like the "Hop on Pop" line, and the line about the "Twenty-foot pole" (Taken from The Grinch). Brilliant stuff. A top runner in my book, as well as a great candidate for SOTM.
Agrimorfee - February 13, 2009 - Report this comment
(Ages) As a entry for the topic of paranoia/horror, it sucks. But in all other respects this was a great parody, with all those wonderful subtle Seussian refs. Yeah, put it in SOTM. Loved it!
tomario - February 14, 2009 - Report this comment
What the hell was that all about? who is this "Seuss" you speak of? was my childhood so sheltered. it read really well with original song but made absolutely no sense to me!....sorry!
NoSeussPlease - February 14, 2009 - Report this comment
Sorry, sir, but please no " Hop On Pop " !
bobpiecheese - February 24, 2009 - Report this comment
(Ages) This is kinda stretching it for a 'paranoia' entry, but this was pretty good. Not as good as Weird Al's 'Green Eggs And Ham', but still pretty good.
Arwen - February 25, 2009 - Report this comment
AGES...this is pretty impressive, 2nzy...I've attempted this OS (which I love!) a couple of times, and find it to be too crazy for me. So kudos for that, alone! I would have liked to have seen you do two different bridges instead of repeating...(though the phrase "get up out my face" is an LOL phrase)...but this is HOT stuff, so I'll forgive you!
Invisible Boy - February 25, 2009 - Report this comment
An excellent write here, 2nz. And, that's coming from a huge Seuss fan (tomario...Huh?)
I loved the answer lines, and for that matter...the whole thing.
Below Average Dave - February 25, 2009 - Report this comment
(Ages) Pretty good parody, but I am rarely picky about topics, too me it's a bit too much of a stretch to say "paranoia" or "horror" .. .not to be picky, but paranoia would not be among the first twenty 'themes' I'd think reading this parody.
Melanie Lee - February 25, 2009 - Report this comment
Brilliant! Love the references! I didn't realize I knew so much Seuss. On the loose! 5-5-5 and four stars! Applause, applause!
Jeff Reuben - February 25, 2009 - Report this comment
(Ages) I've had my share of Dr. Seuss recently :) Funny song. Have to agree on the topic but it's a good song.
Glen S - February 26, 2009 - Report this comment
Thanks for the support everybody. I know it's a hard sell, but I had nothing else, so thank you to those of you who supported and to those of you who recommended that I try it in additional tourneys. And for those who couldn't come with me for the horror of green eggs and ham, you can just blow my mind out in a call. Didn't you notice that the lights had changed?
Mark Scotti - March 11, 2009 - Report this comment
Great piece of contemporary literature, it MEATS many high standards!!! Really funny!!
Matthias - March 12, 2009 - Report this comment
LOVED IT! LOVED IT! LOVED IT!!! Not a Paranoia or Horror contender, but a SOTM contender fer sure!!!
Phil Alexander - March 17, 2009 - Report this comment
:-) I'm not that much a Seuss fan (OK, so I have done a Cat in the Hat parody, but that's all), but this was kind of fun.
kevin - March 20, 2009 - Report this comment
verrry well done i've been trying to tie a suess into a few of my parodies, not as easy as you made it
Claude Prez - March 20, 2009 - Report this comment
This is even better the second time. Really. And I can't believe no one has mentioned the "go out for a walk" verse, which was flat-out hilarious. And if you think about it, some little dude popping up everywhere you go sticking the same plate of nasty food in your face would be extremely creepy.
Pensworth - March 21, 2009 - Report this comment
Well I was never a Seuss reader, so this is probably lost on me. But I see a lot of careful effort was put in to match the OS well.
bobpiecheese - March 30, 2009 - Report this comment
(SOTM) See above, without the 'paranoia' bit.
Max Power - March 30, 2009 - Report this comment
Moldy good
Stuart McArthur - March 30, 2009 - Report this comment
(SOTM) had to read it twice coz I wasn't in the groove the first time, but hey what a fertile field for paranoid delusions the Seuss oevre is, and you nailed it brilliantly 2nz - "A Fish Out Of Water" was one of the scariest stories I've ever read! - 555
Below Average Dave - March 31, 2009 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Good recap of the the book with some new places thrown in the mix (the bar made him think for a minute) in the book he eventually tried it and liked it, that kind of twist at the end may have stepped it up a tid-bit
Jeff Reuben - March 31, 2009 - Report this comment
(SOTM) What I said above...excluding the part about the topic :) Well done.
Arwen - March 31, 2009 - Report this comment
SOTM...still love this one, 2nz...=) Just excellent!
Invisible Boy - March 31, 2009 - Report this comment
still love it...see above
Glen S - March 31, 2009 - Report this comment
Thanks for supporting and the kind words everyone. See you in the coming months.
Matthias - May 10, 2009 - Report this comment
I finally understood the "Wahoo [Dorae]" pun!!!! Wow... That took me awhile!

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