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Song Parodies -> "Bald!"

Original Song Title:

"Hair!"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

The Cowsills

Parody Song Title:

"Bald!"

Parody Written by:

MasonR

The Lyrics

This one's for all those aging hippies out there.
Sometimes I sigh
I was a hairy guy
Was hairy noon and nighty-night-night
It's gone from sight
And now I'm feeling low
But don't ask me why
'cause I sure know
My locks fell off my head
Follicles are dead
Darling...

Dammit, I have gone bald
It makes me look old
Shining, gleaming,
Polished, round, astounded

I'm bereft of hair
Not there any longer
Comb over? That's over
Look like my daddy's daddy

Bald, Bald, Bald, Bald, Bald, Bald, Bald
Shine it, sign it,
'Cause I can't grow any
more hair

On my pate, I feel breeze
And cold makes me sneeze
And poor lice simply slide off my head
Reflections you'll see
As round as a little pea
Follicles deceased
There ain't no growth
I've tried Rogaine for re-growth, but nothin' doing

Bald, Bald, Bald, Bald, Bald, Bald, Bald
Shine it, sign it,
'Cause I can't grow any
more hair

My head is clean, light, shavy, groovy
Skinhead, hairless, baldie, oldie
Depilated, underrated
shaven, egghead
blinding, shiny
Spotted, polka-dotted
Oldie, Bowling-ball-head
I am a strange looking fella
My head skin's as smooth as Mozzarella!

Oy vey, can you see
My hair? No you can't
'Cause it all fell off

It's not here
It's not there
It's not fair
That it dropped by itself
(For a while it blocked the drain when I shampooed myself)

Oh, give me a wig with hair
No longer care
Toupee, today
Buy it, try to match it

Put it where I had hair (hair)
Where it is no longer (hair)
Bald as a newborn
I look like my daddy's daddy

Bald, Bald, Bald, Bald, Bald, Bald, Bald
Shine it, sign it
God won't let me grow it
Bald, Bald, Bald, Bald, Bald, Bald, Bald
Shine it, sign it
Hide it with a wig of fake hair...
Parody by Mason "hairy guy" Resnick

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

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User Comments

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John Barry - January 09, 2008 - Report this comment
Unfortunately, I'm on the verge of being able to indentiy with this.
alvin - January 09, 2008 - Report this comment
nice 180 on this...very descriptive...especially liked the "daddy's daddy" bit...and for the record this ol' hippie still has plenty of long hair
Meriadoc - January 09, 2008 - Report this comment
Loved the lice sliding off the head. BTW, speaking of bald aging hippies - have you seen Peter Frampton in the Geiko commercial? Eeek! :-O
littleCupCakes - January 09, 2008 - Report this comment
. . . but your words be very witty, Sir!
Peregrin - January 09, 2008 - Report this comment
V good. Unlike alvin and Merry, but like John Barry, I am getting to be able to relate... :(
Agrimorfee - January 09, 2008 - Report this comment
I especially looked forward to the list section--and was not disappointed. Kudos for the not-so-obvious words and surprise rhymes, as well as for risking real words on the "doo-doo-doo" section.
MasonR - January 10, 2008 - Report this comment
Thanks John, alvin, Meriadoc, littleCupCakes, Peregrin, and Agrimorfee! And for the record, I still have a full head of hair at age 50, but it's going gray, and I keep it (the hair, not the head) shorter than it used to be.

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