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Song Parodies -> "Yellow Journalists"

Original Song Title:

"Yellow Submarine"

Original Performer:

The Beatles

Parody Song Title:

"Yellow Journalists"

Parody Written by:

Michael Pacholek

The Lyrics

This one is for William McKinley. Of the four Presidents who have been assassinated so far, he's the only one who's going to get through his song alive. "Yellow journalism" was the turn-of-the-20th Century practice of jacking up newspaper sales by printing stories that were exaggerated and incapable of confirmation, such as the "atrocities" of Spain in its Caribbean colonies and the Philippines in the 1890s, topped by the explosion of a battleship in Havana harbor: "Remember the Maine!" became the cry of the Spanish-American War of 1898, "The Splendid Little War" that McKinley didn't want, but was so weak and so easily influenced by Republican power-brokers that he was talked into it. Nice guy, but you wouldn't want a man like him as President today. "A Hot Time In the Old Town Tonight" was the war's fight song. Of course, "yellow journalism" isn't possible today, is it? Is it?
In the town that's called New York
lives a man named Willie Hearst
and his newspaper has lies.
His reporters are the worst.

Sail into the Cuban sun
see the Maine's explosive mist.
And they put the blame on Spain.
'Cause they're yellow journalists.

We all listen to yellow journalists.
Yellow journalists.
Yellow journalists.
We all listen to yellow journalists.
Yellow journalists.
Yellow journalists.

And his friends are all on board.
Many more of them want a war.
And a band begins to play...
(There'll be a hot time in the old town tonight!)

We all listen to yellow journalists.
Yellow journalists.
Yellow journalists.
We all listen to yellow journalists.
Yellow journalists.
Yellow journalists.

(sounds of a U.S. Navy warship)
(Awaiting your order, Admiral Dewey!)
(You may fire when you are ready, Gridley!)

(sounds of men on horseback)
(Theodore Roosevelt yells, "Charge!")

Hurrah for William McKinley! (McKinley!)
Lots o' colonies (Lots o' colonies!)
For our greed! (For our greed!)
And our girls (And our girls)
have all been kissed (have all been kissed)
by a yellow (by a yellow)
journalist! (journalist! Ha ha!)

We all listen to yellow journalists.
Yellow journalists.
Yellow journalists.
We all listen to yellow journalists.
Yellow journalists.
Yellow journalists.
We all listen to yellow journalists.
Yellow journalists.
Yellow journalists.
We all listen to yellow journalists.
Yellow journalists.
Yellow journalists.
(Repeat 'til fade)
We now know that it was a boiler explosion that doomed the battleship. But had that been known then, the yellow journalists would have covered it up for the "official story": The blame for Maine stayed mainly on old Spain.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.6
How Funny: 4.6
Overall Rating: 4.6

Total Votes: 10

Voting Breakdown

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 5   9
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User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

martha - September 11, 2004 - Report this comment
another excellent edition to your fabulous presidential collection
Know 1 can hear you dream - September 11, 2004 - Report this comment
All journalism today is fair and balanced, or so Ive been told.
alvin rhodes - September 13, 2004 - Report this comment
love the project, keep 'em coming'
Johnny D - September 13, 2004 - Report this comment
Good job, MP.
Doug - March 14, 2008 - Report this comment
Great job ohn the Presidents; glancing at many but posting on this one, for no real reason. :-) You should sell these to schools or something like someone said on one.

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