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Song Parodies -> "L-T Kerry Purple Heart Grab Man"

Original Song Title:

"SGT Pepper's Lonely Heart's Club Band"

Original Performer:

The Beatles

Parody Song Title:

"L-T Kerry Purple Heart Grab Man"

Parody Written by:

Guy DiRito

The Lyrics

John Kerry blasted George Bush a few months ago concerning his Air National Guard service record. Now it seems it's Kerry's turn in the barrel. Read related news article on which this parody is roughly based at the following link: http://www.phillyburbs.com/pb-dyn/news/137-04222004-287187.html L-T is a kind of familiar way troops call their Lieutenants.
About thirty years ago they say,
Lieutenant Kerry got fragged one day.
Vietnam war was way out of style,
When he took a hit from some hostile.
So into his caboose some flew.
Purple Hearts got like souvenirs
L-T Kerry purple heart grab man.

He's L-T Kerry purple heart grab man,
He fought real hard as GI-Joe.
He's L-T Kerry purple heart grab man,
Three heart's they had to let him go.
L-T Kerry purple, L-T Kerry purple,
L-T Kerry purple heart grab man.
Heroic Navy career,
His blood he did some spill.
He had some war experience,
It helped him to get home we guess,
It helped him to get home.

Took three frags before they'd let him go,
Out of country he so soon did blow,
Waving bye-bye to that old Mekong.
Pity, friends he couldn't take along.
Bush's turn to twist the screw,
As service record disappears,
He's L-T Kerry purple heart grab man.

L-T Kerry purple, L-T Kerry purple,
L-T Kerry purple heart grab man.
L-T Kerry purple, L-T Kerry purple,
L-T Kerry purple heart grab man.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.0
How Funny: 4.0
Overall Rating: 4.0

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 3   1
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 4   0
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User Comments

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Jack Wilson - April 23, 2004 - Report this comment
Great job! 555!
Adagio - April 23, 2004 - Report this comment
Good job on this one, Guy! 5's
John Jenkins - April 23, 2004 - Report this comment
You shouldn't poke fun at a man who served his country and put himself in harm's way; but these were all described as "tweezer and band-aid injuries," so, good parody, Guy.
Guy - April 23, 2004 - Report this comment
John - I respect what the man did. I disagree with the way he disses others who have served including myself. The news clip on this speaks for itself. Many of us were called to fight an unpopular war. What I don't understand is why he just couldn't have done his duty as countless thousands of others have without dissing those who served and faced the same dangers as he did. I also wanted to point out that he has little room to call attention to Dubya's service record when it is questionable the motive for the first purple heart request appears to be a way out of the combat. His leaving early meant that someone else had to fill his empty slot. I don't question the fact that he was awarded the metals for injuries sustained in a hostile environment. It does seem to fit the criteria. I question his motives.
Robert J. Pagliaro - April 23, 2004 - Report this comment
Nice job Guy - I'm looking forward to the coming eight years of the Kerry Administration. We need someone who is qualified to be the Commander of our military - not someone who was MIA.
Adam Zen B. - April 23, 2004 - Report this comment
Guy, good parody as usual, but know the facts. Here is John Kerry's complete military record he posted online at his website: http://www.johnkerry.com/about/military_records.html Read it and THEN comment on it.
Guy - April 23, 2004 - Report this comment
Adam - Just because something is posted on the internet does not make it true. I based my song on the news story that I posted the URL for with this parody. Had I gotten to the site you posted in your comments first I may have based it on these records. My comments are only my opinion and it hasn't changed by the posting of these records on the internet. The man found a way out of a hell hole and he took it. What can I say?
2nz - April 24, 2004 - Report this comment
Some places awkward english used for sake of good rhyme, but funny, accurate and for some reason, I really like the lines: "He had some war experience, It helped him to get home we guess". Kerry is now safe at home, in... one of his four houses. 5's Guy
AmishJD - April 24, 2004 - Report this comment
John Kerry can diss Bush all he wants about serving in the military because John Kerry served his country and Bush did almost nothing. John Kerry would be a better president than Bush. Bush sucks
Johnny D - April 26, 2004 - Report this comment
You all can use your Freedom of Speech to debate Kerry vs. Bush, while I'm going to use mine to simply say that this is a well-crafted parody, Guy. 5's
To A Lesser Extent - April 27, 2004 - Report this comment
Good parody. We know Kerry's a liar, because he says he got the Purple Hearts in gunfire, but they were all little trivial things, one of which was proven to be a scratch. He also denied saying that he "gave back his other medals," but they proved that he did say that on national TV. So don't single out Bush--Kerry is lying, too.

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